Sean and I are officially separated, both legally and financially, and they are in the process of buying a condo in North Portland. Escrow closes at the end of the month. We’re both looking forward to this for many reasons, primarily because it will provide some excellent stability for Ever, but also because they’ve been staying with our friend, Stacy, (thank goddess for Stacy!) and there’s no room for Ever to sleep over there, so Sean hasn’t been able to do any overnights for more than six months. The new schedule starts on July 1st and Ever will be with Sean from Saturday night until Wednesday morning and with me the rest of the week. Basically 50/50.
This is bittersweet. Holy hot damn do I look forward to finally being able to sleep in a few mornings a week, but I’m really going to miss her when she’s with them. I’m trying not to think too much about it. I’ve been here before with Alex and Genoa and I adapted, I know I can do it again.
I plan to use my extra time to get back into a workout regiment. I’m 48. She’s FOUR. I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I need this body to last me as long as possible and I need to stay in shape. I’m remiss to admit it, but I started taking Semaglutide (Ozempic) several months ago in anticipation, because I really want to start running again and my joints couldn’t take it at my higher weight. I lost 25 pounds in three months and I’m feeling lean enough to give it a go. I plan to start July 1st.
[My feelings about these drugs are intense. I had many, many clients start using them and the more they shared with me, the more I wanted to try them. This medicine is a miracle, I’m not going to lie. It’s the first time in my life that the entire food center of my brain has shut down completely. Better than Phen Fen. Better than any diet I’ve ever been on. Better than gastric bypass surgery. You just don’t care about food. You’re never hungry. Every thought about what to eat/good foods vs bad foods/how much/when, etc just… vanishes. You’re never hungry. You literally don’t care what you eat. It’s not a diet. It’s just… easy. And when you do eat, you’re stuffed in 3-4 bites.
I’ve been getting mine through a “research pharmacy” so I’m paying less than $150/month and self-administering my doses (with a needle in my belly once a week). I did have a terrible side effect though. When I got up to a 5ml dose, my skin HURT. BADLY. It was excruciating. I couldn’t even sleep my skin hurt so bad. The best way I can describe it is the way your genitals get very sensitive directly after an orgasm - like ouchie spicy. And my whole skin felt like that all the time. Reducing my dose fixed it and now that I’m on maintenance I’m only taking 1ml every few weeks so it isn’t an issue. My appetite is normal again and I haven’t gained any weight back. I swear, once they become financially accessible, these drugs are going to change millions of people’s lives. It was so frustrating to be completely body-positive, 100% anti-diet and to still want to reduce my weight so I could exercise without hurting my (incredibly fucked up and/or titanium) joints. This turned out to be the perfect solution.]
Anyway, I digress.
The kids are doing well. Genoa just turned 18 (OHMYGAWD) and has a full time job at a car wash and it’s turned out to be a really fun job for her. She’s getting tan, hanging out with her friends, and paying her own bills. I love seeing her succeed. She seems very happy.
Alex’s job recently cut his hours, so that bruh owes me some back rent, but I understand it wasn’t his fault. He still needs to get his butt in gear and find a second job. Now that I’m on my own financially, I could really use the help. His girlfriend, Hannah, lives here too and is the most amazing tenant.
I’m really enjoying having adult children. It might be my favorite parenting phase yet.
We recently re-signed the lease for another year, which was a huge relief. Genoa had been begging for a cat and the owner agreed to let us have a second one (for $50/month!) So now we have the cutest little tuxedo kitten boy. He and Biscuit have only met under Genoa’s bedroom door. I’m hoping nobody gets injured when they finally both have free range.
My best friend, Jamie, moved into my guest room a couple months ago and having her here has been amazing. I’ve decided I never want to live with a romantic partner again, but hot damn is it nice having her around. I think a big personality difference between Sean and I was that my propensity to bring home strays upset their need for peace and solitude. Neither of us was wrong, just different. I’ve always loved coming home to a full house. Now that it’s my house, I get to decide what that looks like without worrying I’m stepping on anyone’s toes.
Living alone has been soul-shakingly satisfying for me. It’s basically like a drug, I’m just over here huffing on autonomy.
My romantic relationships have also been stellar. Tony and I have de-escalated into friends who occasionally make out, a transition that was sweeter and easier than any “break up” I’ve ever been through. Nothing but mutual respect. Complete kindness.
Jenna and I have reached a new place too, a higher standard born out of wretchedly complete honesty. I *LOVE* Jenna, and I want her desperately, she is my ideal woman, but I’m sadly hetero-romantic, a discovery the two of us have had to make our peace with. It was rough for a while, but I feel like we’ve been setting a new standard together and it’s never been better. I feel closer to her than ever. BFFWB’s. I couldn’t ask for a better meta.
Two plus years later, Rob continues to be my heart throb. We just had the sweetest, most romantic stay at a tiny house airbnb in Victoria and I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to travel with zero conflict. Like, not even a minute of stress. We just.. get along. I’m
Not sure I had any idea relationships could be like this. And still be sexy af.
He and Jenna have also gotten a lot closer over the last year and if I’m honest, at times that’s been hard for me. But polyamory requires a somewhat constant commitment to having faith that your partners aren’t going anywhere. And I’m continuously building up that muscle. I’d like to think I’m doing pretty well with it. The love I feel from both of them makes it all worthwhile. I wouldn’t have it any other way