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May 01, 2013

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Canadian Rachel

Haven't been here in a while, but I just need to say: love you, sweetie.

I've been wrestling a depression myself. Finally looking this fucker in the eye. Ugh. I forgot that you have to get through the rage to get to the fear to get to the steaming shitpile of hurt. But it was something you said, months ago, that came to me and reminded me. That fear is the worst. But. It's good pain, maybe, like childbirth. That's what I'm telling myself.

Alex

Beautiful and inspiring.

Meredith

I almost always have my breakdowns when I run. It's when my brain and body are most connected. I can stuff everything into a dark corner, never to be looked at, until about mile 3, when it all comes bubbling up through the mud I've put around it. Turns out, it takes energy to run and it takes energy to stuff that stuff down, and it's really hard to do both at the same time.

Kudos to you for using that to do your heart some good.

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