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May 03, 2011


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I applaud your response to your client, but I wouldn't be so quick to congratulate her. Divorce occurs for many reasons and not all marriages are unhappy. Some people’s worlds rocked so hard they didn't see it coming and are hit by a train wreck.


I would love for you to talk more about being an intentional parent. I feel like I live my life being reactionary but I don't know anything different. Most of the time I just end up being a referee between my two kids.


It's been a big year for so---so glad you're happy! I have to agree with Siera-your client may be on the other side of the divorce than you were.

Amanda P. Westmont

But see, even if you ARE hit sideways by the divorce bus, you're still better off afterwards. We all not only deserve to be wanted and to have our basic relationship needs met, but we deserve the satisfaction of knowing we can meet our partner's needs too. I'm confident Dave will meet someone who will make him happier than I ever could have.


I have to agree with Amanda. Even if you didn't expect the divorce (or breakup, whichever the case may be), and you're completely floored, you eventually realize that is was for the best... because how can someone be the perfect person for YOU if you weren't the perfect person for THEM?


That may be the case but timing is everything and not knowing the details it wouldn't be the right time to say

"Congratulations on the big D! Oh your wife cheated on you and that baby you thought was yours and you loved isn't yours? The one you saw through the NICU who you didn’t know was going to survive? Well that's a relief! You must be happier now right? One less mouth to feed. And those step children you took on as yours and loved, well you don’t' have to feed them either."

Everyone’s perception on a situation is their own. Anyone watch Shania Twain on Oparah yesterday?


If someone would have congratulated me on my divorce while I was going though it I would have been devastated. When I passed my one year mark someone congratulated me and it just made me feel sick. It felt like they were saying "Congratulations on failing marriage!"

Is my life better because of my divorce? That depends. Better than being married to someone who won't give up a gf? Yes. Better than it could have been if we had been able to work things out? No.

But I can't live with "what ifs", so I move forward and make my life the best it can be for myself and my daughter.

Amanda, I am so happy that you are happy in your new life and I wish you all the best!


Yes, yes, yes!

Divorce is the beginning of climbing back up out of that gutter.

It is a good thing. Nothing occurs in a vacuum. Happy people don't suddenly want a divorce.


Not all divorces should happen or are healthy any more than all marriages should happen or are healthy. Divorce creates loss and I think the appropriate response, unless you know the person well, is always, "How are you doing?" There's no need to put your opinion one way or the other on it, congrats or I'm sorry.

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