I've hesitated to bring it up, but my grandfather is not doing very well. He had a massive coronary last week and we've all been waiting on pins and needles to see how he pulls through. I haven't wanted to talk about it because talking about it means acknowledging the fact that he might be dying. Which would somehow imply that I accept the fact that he is dying. That we're all dying. Which I don't wanna do.
Have I mentioned that I'm not good with death?
My mother isn't doing very well with it, either, especially since she's also his round-the-clock care giver and this is her Daddy we're talking about. I can't even think about my father's eventual someday-way-in-the-future-after-we-have-flying-cars-and-telepathy-and-condos-on-the-moon death without bursting into tears. Daddies are supposed to live forever.
I'm not sure if it's because he shares a birthay with Jesus, or if he's just stubborn, but my grandpa has always been a fighter. His asthma was so bad as a child that they didn't think he'd live to see double-digits and here he is 89 years old and still fighting. I'd very much like the opportunity to hug him this July when we drive down to California to visit, so if you're the praying type, add that to your list, please. Pray for his heart, my family's and mine.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Dealing with death is such an agonizing struggle.
Posted by: Sally | May 18, 2011 at 12:03 PM
Sending you and your family good thoughts for his recovery Amanda.
Posted by: Georgia | May 18, 2011 at 12:11 PM
Oh, fingers crossed for you and all the family.
Posted by: ccr in MA | May 18, 2011 at 12:14 PM
Sending you hugs and prayers for you and your family!
Posted by: LizP | May 18, 2011 at 01:11 PM
Prayers going up.. I still miss my grandpa...
Posted by: Salome Ellen | May 18, 2011 at 03:04 PM
I am the praying type and I'll do just that! Hang in there.
Posted by: 1hot&tiredmama | May 18, 2011 at 05:54 PM
I lost my dad last year. It was alternatively the worst thing that has ever happened to me/the most beautiful, and yet painful, experience. I miss him every single second of the day. But, you just have to keep going. Not always easy, but you're kind of used to that, right?
Posted by: Non-Mommy | May 18, 2011 at 05:58 PM
I wasn't allowed to hug him last Thursday. I asked your Mommy. But I was able to hang the bead mobile of him, Grandma and their direct blood descendents over his bed. All I could really do was show up. It's actually harder to watch his grown-up babies; their thoughts, their words, their odd new behaviors. I keep looking through the handful of old pictures I brought home. Again now, I think.
Posted by: Amber | May 18, 2011 at 10:12 PM
Love you, MandaPea. Praying.
Posted by: Annagrace | May 18, 2011 at 11:20 PM
My mother (who turned 56 yesterday) was diagnosed with cancer in March, so I understand. I've had a hard time with the whole 'we're all dying' thing too. (So far, she's dealing with chemo and the prognosis is still hopeful)
My thoughts are with you (I'm not the praying type) as we both make it through this.
Posted by: Melissa | May 20, 2011 at 06:49 AM