Happiness is...

Laid Off Dad wrote an interesting post the other day about whether or not parenthood makes people as happy as they think it will.  My answer was that it really doesn't matter either way:

Up until having kids, I probably would've questioned "the meaning of life." But there it is: procreation. Whether it's fun and makes us happy is kind of irrelevant. We're designed by our very biology to feel incomplete without it. I definitely had this overwhelming NOW I GET IT feeling after the birth of both of my kids.

I can't imagine why anyone would want to go through life without having children. My children seem to give everything else in my life meaning. Without them, my life would just be about me and I guess that seems shallow now that I have kids.

Of course I didn't really answer the question, so now I will.  Parenthood makes me immeasurably happy.  In fact, I can't of anything I'd rather be doing right now than taking care of my family (and blogging about it).  Since I've been such a crank lately, here's a list of everything that's currently making me giddy:

1. Alex has been watching old cartoon episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  He's enjoying them almost as much as my baby brother, Tommy, used to back when they were new.  Every time I hear theme song, to which I know every word, it makes me smile thinking of my little brother.  "Heroes in a half shell!  TURTLE POWER!"
2. Ever since Alex has taken over my place in bed, Dave has been letting me sleep in.  He gets up with Alex and I get up whenever Genoa wakes up.  Yesterday I slept in until after 9AM!
3. Genoa thinks farts are HILARIOUS.  She can be screaming bloody murder, but if anyone farts, she'll scrunch up her face (like it's stinky) and giggle.
4. Alex is having fun making up words lately, particularly words to describe weaponry.  Just now he told me that one of his Power Ranger swords is a "belt shonk" because "you pull it out from your belt."  Like, DUH, Mom.
5. Genoa continues to alert me when she's about to fill up her diaper.  She exclaims, "I POO!" at top volume and then proceeds to do exactly that.  I haven't tried to start potty training her yet, but it looks like it will be easier than I anticipated.
6. The inspection reports on The White House came back with just a few minor repairs, which it looks like the sellers will be making at their own expense.
7. We finally decided on the floors!
8. I could not be happier about living in Washington.  I miss my friends immensely, but so far I'm happy with the trade-offs.  The house we're buying here would easily cost over $2 million dollars in Mountain View and would never have been obtainable for us, not even in our wildest lottery-winning dreams.  I prefer living in a place where normal everyday people can have a decent lifestyle.  No wonder everyone here is so nice!
   
9. Speaking of friends, I've made two new ones who I really enjoy.  The added perk is that they both have boys who Alex LOVES.  He's always asking about his new friends and when he can have them over to play.  I can't wait to host play dates in our big back yard!
10. Dave really seems to like this new job.  He's happier at work than I've ever seen him before.  The cases are more interesting and he comes home with great stories.
11. We finally picked a preschool for our boy and I think he's going to be very happy there.

Comments

[megan]

Okay so you sort of hit my hot spot with this one!

I don't want kids, I never had and I can pretty much promise you I never will. I don't think it makes my life any less full just different. Don't get me wrong I love children and love spending time with them. Being Auntie Megan is what I am comfortable with and I'm very good at it. Being a parent is not for me, I am okay with this and I wish the rest of the world was too.

[kheatherg]

Ya, i can see where your comming from but I can also see where Megan above is comming from. I know people on both sides of the fence, i've heard both sides of the "To have-or not to have" children conversation.

It's a touchy subject on both sides.......

[Amanda]

I think it's important for me to add that I am only talking about myself here. As a person who always wanted kids, I have a hard time (impossible actually) imagining NOT wanting them. That doesn't mean I think everybody should have kids!

It's just that my life felt completely empty without them. When Dave and I would take vacations just the two of us, we'd often talk about how much more fun we'd be having if we had kids.

I can only imagine what a giant pain in the ass it must be for the childless to have to constantly defend their position against breeders like me. Especially for Megan, who comes from a big family, it must get REALLY old answering the "when are you giving me grandkids?" question. I'm so sorry!

[Kizz]

Megan & kheatherg,

Thank you both for saying what I was feeling and for phrasing it far more diplomatically than I was able to.

[kheatherg]

oooo, I have 4 kids but man, what i wouldnt give to have a vacation with none. Just.for.the.weekend. LOL

[megan]

You have no idea how much of a pain in the ass it is. My parents have plenty of grandkids and really could care less if I added to the family. Alex's mom on the other hand, I've ripped out her heart and stomped on it.

I don't really think of myself as childless since I spend so much time with my nieces, nephews and friend's children. We probably attend as many kids parties as most parents and I would be sad if we were excluded from such events just cause we don't have kids.

I do think this is a very interesting topic through since there are so many different perspectives from both sides of the fence.

Alex and Genoa would totally ditch you and Dave after five minutes at our house, we've got the best toys!

[David]

"When Dave and I would take vacations just the two of us, we'd often talk about how much more fun we'd be having if we had kids."

Now, of course, we are unable to even take a vacation and even if we could, would be miserable, along with everyone else, with our new wireless enhanced decibel level daughter who is mostly stuck on horror B-movie terror scream mode.

[Frema]

I think once you become a parent, there is no more important job than raising happy, well-adjusted children. However, for those who don't have kids, their lives can be full of meaning as well.

Example: my friend is an actor who recently landed his first major TV gig. He's wanted this for a long time, and it's good that he's finally finding success. However, he has a six-year-old son he hasn't seen since he was two.

If my friend were childless, his acting gig would be simply amazing. But as it stands, all I can think about is, "Dude, being the best actor in the world won't change that you're a crappy dad." That last thing will overshadow anything else he'll ever do.

[Andrew]

> I can't imagine why anyone would want to go through life without having children.

Perhaps because you lack imagination? Also because you're insensitive? Just thinking out loud here.

> My children seem to give everything else in my life meaning.

Personally, I believe that children are the future. We should teach them well and let them lead the way.

> Without them, my life would just be about me and I guess that seems shallow now that I have kids

Reading your blog, it is very difficult for me to conceptualize your life being any more shallow.

> I can't of anything I'd rather be doing right now than taking care of my family (and blogging about it)

Thank goodness, because we're all reaping the benefits.