Mandajuice

2022: YEAR IN REVIEW

 

1. What did you do in 2022 that you’d never done before?

So many new experiences, but none of them are even remotely Facebookable. 

 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Last year my goals were:

— Be supportive, not insecure

— Work on sitting with negative emotions instead of acting on them.

This year I’m going to continue working on both of those, but add a couple:

— Ask questions instead of making assumptions 

— Be gentle, but assertive 

 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes! Christina had the most beautiful baby girl! She’s gonna be the closest thing Ever has to a sister her age. 

 

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully, no.

 

5. What countries did you visit?

Mexico! Twice. 

 

6. What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022?

An organized space to come home to. 

 

7. What dates from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

March 10 - my first date with Rob. 

 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Finding a balance between my individual self and my mom self. 

 

9. What was your biggest failure?

The house went to shit because I was too busy having fun to care about it. 

 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

We definitely caught Covid, but we all survived it unscathed. 

 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A *new* counter top ice maker. This one makes Sonic ice! 

 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Sean’s. As usual. He is considerate in ways I don’t feel I deserve. 

 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

No one’s behavior besides my own has the ability to make me appalled or depressed anymore. 

 

14. Where did most of your money go?

Concerts and travel!

 

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Concerts, travel, hosting parties again, dating, meeting new people and helping fostering connections. 

 

16. What song will always remind you of 2022?

No Love by Summer Walker & SZA

 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Happier 

b) thinner or fatter? Thinner? Maybe?
c) richer or poorer?  Poorer. But only because of our fun spending. 

 

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Home maintenance, cleaning, organizing, making my space feel better. I’m taking two days off in February to clean the garage and do some organizing.  

 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying about the mess. 

 

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas started with kiddos and an excited three-year old and ended with hosting my favorite peeps in the hot tub. 

 

21. Did you fall in love in 2022?

Madly! 

 

22. What was your favorite tv show?

I didn’t watch enough tv go have a favorite show. 

 

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

This question baffles me. I don’t hate anybody.

 

24. What was the best book you read?

Sad admission: I haven’t had the time to finish a single book since Ever was born. 

 

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

EDM. We’re seeing Subtronics tonight! 

 

26. What did you want and get?

A boyfriend. 

 

27. What did you want and not get?

Another one. 😜

 

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Did I even see a movie other than watching Moana 400 times? 

 

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

We got an overnight babysitter and Sean rented a house in Portland. We ate tasty vegan food, went to the strip club, and then hot tubbed all night with some of our very favorite friends/lovers. I’ll never forget turning 46.

 

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A personal organizer.

 

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022?

Chubby chic

 

32. What kept you sane?

Sean. (And our therapist.)

 

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Lizzo continues to save lives. 

 

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The election. 

 

35. Who did you miss?

Erin. 

 

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Definitely Rob. 

 

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022.

Patience is a virtue, especially with myself. 

 

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

PARTY ALL AROUND THE WORLD

PARTY ALL AROUND THE WORLD

-Lol Surprise

Alex is 18 today

And I am beside myself. 

 

Alex was the reason I first started blogging. I had been writing about him long before he was even conceived, but I didn’t start publishing my love affair with him until he was 11-months old. I wrote the following that first month, 17 years ago, about being in the bath tub with him and him being startled by me turning on the faucet:

 

“As a soggy, scared little Alex jumped into my naked lap last night, I vividly remembered that holding him for the first time was the single best moment of my entire life.”

 

It’s still the best moment of my life. Even 18 years later. The absolute *highlight* of a not uneventful life. Alex made me a mother. More importantly, Alex is the first person I have ever truly *LOVED.*

 

About a week after he was born, I was upstairs in his bedroom holding him and swaying to love songs when something happened to my body. I will never forget it. A voracious hole somehow opened up in my chest. That’s the best way I can describe it. I wasn’t as in touch with my feelings or my body then, but I still knew it was different and more intense than anything I’d ever felt before. It was joy, yes, but so much all at once that it was physical painful. An ache. A dangerous, dangerous ache. I couldn’t stop sobbing. I knew in that moment I would cease to exist if anything ever happened to him. And I had never felt anything like that before. 

 

Alex was my first true love. 

 

(Genoa was my second.)

 

(Sean was my 6th and Ever was my 7th.)

 

I don’t get to write about him much anymore, because he’s been a full grown man for a while now, and I don’t want to violate his privacy, but I’m going to blog about him for a minute like I used to, for old time’s sake…

 

On Saturday Alex got his driver’s license. He drove me and his baby sister to his 8:30 appointment in Camas, which was literally across the street from the park where he (and his sister) first learned to ride a bike. I figured I’d keep Ever busy at the park while he took his driving test, but after less than ten minutes he huffed back over to us having failed his first attempt. The first turn of the driving test involved a flashing yellow arrow, which turned red on him after he was already in the intersection. Instant fail. Not his fault.

 

I can’t remember ever seeing him so devastated. It broke my heart. He was on the verge of either tears or breaking something, maybe both. I desperately wanted to hug him, but I knew it would make him cry and that probably wasn’t what he wanted. (In hindsight I definitely should have asked).

 

They gave him an appointment to retest later on the same day. We practiced driving for the rest of the entire morning and he passed his test with an 88% that afternoon. He’s actually a really good driver. We were both incredibly relieved that he passed on his second attempt. (And the teacher told him that that flashing yellow arrow had failed many a good driver before him).

 

Covid was not good for Alex. Like me, a social creature by nature, being isolated was devastating. He went through a rough break up with his first love, Mariah, after two years together. It was brutal. He was so depressed he stopped eating and lost FIFTY pounds. FIVE ZERO. I was so worried. I connected him with my therapist, who helped, but they only got so far. 

 

When his junior year was supposed to start online last year, he went the first two weeks without logging in once. I encouraged him to drop out and take the GED instead, which he’s still studying for. We recently had a conversation where I proffered that the only reason he ever went to high school was to see his friends, and he was, like, “MOM. The only reason I went to high school was to SKIP high school.”

 

Then he got his first job and it changed EVERYTHING. I asked him a week after he started at Wendy’s how his depression was doing and he was, like, it’s GONE. Like mother like son indeed. Work has always been my go-to salve and I wasn’t surprised it was instantly his too. 

 

Fast forward to a couple months later when Sean, who had always been worried about Alex because of how difficult school had been for him, approached me and said, “Alex has done so well with having a job, I think we should buy him a car.” He said “we,” but I had almost zero participation in the entire process. Alex had started asking me about car buying stuff and financing and I was, like, you should totally just talk to Sean about that because I have no clue. Sean is the car guy in our relationship. He’s also the money guy.

 

So they connected. They spent weeks driving everywhere looking at cars. They took two full-day trips to Seattle to test drive with a baby in the back seat. They ended up finding him a red Hyundai Genesis for a great price and it all worked out. (Alex’s birth father had opted out of materially participating in the process whatsoever. He required a 3.5 grade point average in order to help with a car purchase, and Alex had long since dropped out.) We only wanted to see Alex succeed. He’s working as many hours as Papa Murphy’s will give him and paying us the loan payment for his car now, plus his own insurance (over $700/month), and he is fully motivated and very reliable. Responsibility for things he actually wants comes naturally to him. 

 

I can’t begin to express how proud I am of my boy. Which is a silly thing to call him because he’s 100% a man now. He has been for a while. Part of that has come from the hard knocks my own personal choices have dealt him, but most of it is just his naturally endless resiliency. His fierce independence. His *remarkable* emotional intelligence. Alex might not be much of an academic, but he’s smart as hell. In the eight years we’ve been playing it, I have never once beat him at Cards Against Humanity. He’s a social creature who reads people instantly. He is wise way too far beyond his years. 

 

(He also just got home with a hickey on his neck from a girl he just met on Snapchat.)

 

(Insert something about apples and trees.)

 

I have never had to worry about Alex. Whatever life choices he makes, just being himself, just being who he’s been since the day he was born, will bring him success. He’s the most brilliant, reflective man. And I’m not just saying that because he was my first true love. 

Abilify

About a month ago I went to refill my prescriptions, and I hate how complicated this is, but I’ve been on the same meds for more than two years, so my psychiatrist referred me back to my GP for maintenance and I’ve never met that doctor before, so they needed an appointment before filling my prescriptions. Is this sounding familiar? This giant PITA? I was finally able to get them refilled and then when I went to the pharmacy, my Wellbutrin prescription had been filled double, and my Abilify was missing.

 

I’m not sure what the heck is going on, but I have never been this busy in January. I’ve had a waiting list for over 10 days. Normally my schedule in January is that I do a wax, go home and drink a cup of coffee, go back and do another wax, go home and sit in the hot tub for an hour, and go back to work. It’s never busy. So I was totally unprepared for this and it kind of just slipped my mind. I kept taking my Wellbutrin like a good girl, but the Abilify prescription never came through and I kept forgetting to call my doctor (the one I’ve never met) to resolve it.

 

So I’ve been off my Abilify for about a month now. At first, yes, there was a headache. But I was taking a very small dose and I felt better within a week.

 

Better is an understatement.

 

Yes, there’s a lot of other stuff going on in my life right now that could be lifting my mood. (Abilify is a mood stabilizer). Sean and I are going through a relationship renaissance, which I can only describe as the honeymoon phase, only you’ve had five more years to fall in love with each other that much more. It’s ridiculous and disgusting and so fucking deserved after everything we had both been through before meeting each other.

 

And we got to make this magical human together. So there’s so much joy. Which is intoxicating. (How is this my life?)

 

But since I went off that med, I started catching myself dancing randomly with the baby in the kitchen. After a year of stupid TV shows as constant background noise, I can’t stop listening to music. I try really hard to listen to my kids’ playlists because it makes me feel like I’m in touch and if anyone needs to stay young, it’s me.  Also, not gonna lie, they both have impeccable taste. (Cough cough) Genoa recently sang all the way through Today is a Good Day followed immediately by Regulators because she learned them from her BROTHER’s most popular Spotify playlist  (which has 1600 followers!). 

 

I’m dancing again. I’m NOT a dancer. I just haven’t felt this much like myself in years. Ever since Covid, I felt like I was struggling to connect with my clients. Making conversation felt a little bit like work to me. Which is the strangest thing ever for an extrovert to feel. I just had nothing to say. I felt weirdly neutral, even when intellectually I didn’t feel that way. That feeling is gone. My personality feels like it’s been resurrected from the dead. I’m laughing more. Questioning myself less. Leaning in. I don’t think I’ve been even the slightest butch bitchy. 

 

I’m pretty sure the Abilify was very helpful (and 100% safe) when I was pregnant. It evened me out when I might’ve otherwise been a hormonal nightmare. But I’m beginning to think I might not need it anymore. Of course, I could be headed for some kind of horrible crash that I can’t possibly anticipate. But I honestly haven’t felt this good in years.

 

For now, I’ll take it. 

 

I recently found an old diary that I used to keep privately online almost 20 years ago. That Amanda was so fucking miserable. In every way. She deserved so much better, but she never could have imagined this Amanda’s reality. This much happiness was inconceivable to that poor girl. I wish I could just pat her on the head and tell her she has no idea how much better it’s going to get. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YEAR END 2020

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before?

The biggest thing was I went almost three months without working, which I don’t think I’ve done since maybe 1990? It was difficult and illuminating and I learned that way too much of my self-worth is tied to hard work and capitalistic achievement. It’s something I need to work on. 

 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Nope, not last year. I am making a couple this year though: 

— Be supportive, not insecure. 

— Work on sitting with negative emotions instead of acting on them.

 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes! A bunch of clients and Alana!

 

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Only 340,000 Americans. 

 

5. What countries did you visit?

This one. 

 

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?

PARTIES. CONCERTS. VACATIONS. DATES. 

 

7. What dates from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Probably Friday March 13th. It was my brother’s birthday and the last normal day of the year.

 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Staying afloat. 

 

9. What was your biggest failure?

The house went to shit because of my lack of emotional resources. 

 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nope. Lucky us. 

 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A counter top ice maker. 

 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Sean’s. What a trooper. The MOMENT the shop got shut down he went into savior mode and started working mass quantities of over time so we’d be okay. Among many other things. 

 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The President

 

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills and groceries. So many groceries. 

 

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The baby. 

 

16. What song will always remind you of 2020?

WAP

 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Sadder

b) thinner or fatter? Same, I think?
c) richer or poorer?  Poorer. But we’re doing ok. 

 

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Home maintenance, cleaning, organizing, making my space feel better. I feel like I’m not allowed to do anything fun until the house is in order. 

 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying about the mess. 

 

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas started with snuggles and ended with three happy kids. 

 

21. Did you fall in love in 2020?

Yeah, I’d say I fell in love with Sean all over again this year. We were one of the lucky couples for whom quarantine really kicked up our romance. I don’t think we’ve been this physically connected since when we first met. Be still my heart!

 

22. What was your favorite tv show?

Schitt’s Creek. I’ve watched the whole thing twice and now I’m rewatching it with Sean. 

 

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

This question baffles me. I don’t hate anybody.

 

24. What was the best book you read?

What is this reading thing you speak of? I’m either with a baby, with a client, or it’s after 8 o’clock at night and I am too exhausted. I haven’t had any time to read this year and it breaks my heart.

 

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Megan Thee Stallion

 

26. What did you want and get?

A new president. 

 

27. What did you want and not get?

A sane national quarantine strategy that would’ve saved lives. 

 

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Hard to have a favorite when I haven’t been to a single movie all year. 

 

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

We ate well and drank champagne. At home.  I turned 44.

 

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

National leadership that actually cared about people dying. 

 

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?

First official work uniform. Otherwise, three different sets of jammies, on repeat. No bra.

 

32. What kept you sane?

My kids. 

 

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Lizzo’s Instagram feed brought me life. 

 

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The election. 

 

35. Who did you miss?

EVERYONE. 

 

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Rebec. 

 

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020.

Take NOTHING for granted. Literally nothing. 

 

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

 CLAP CLAP IT’S THE LETTER OF THE DAY

 CLAP CLAP IT’S THE LETTER OF THE DAY

I’m not gonna lie, I’m definitely feeling some depression these last few weeks.

Am I the only one a little bummed that the election results didn’t provide a more lasting sense of joy? I mean, after the several days of torturous waiting, it was nice to see that our guy won, but the process itself was less satisfying than I had expected and didn’t provide quite the boost to my mental health that I had hoped for. Like, now that it’s (mostly?!) over, it just feels kinda anticlimactic. 

 

Then my kids went to Idaho with their dad for Thanksgiving. I was against the idea. I mean, IDAHO? Where masks aren’t even required? But the divorce decree says he gets them for thanksgiving and I couldn’t convince him not to go. The virus is “overblown” he thinks. So now that the kids are back (they had a grand time eating steak and driving cars and chasing dogs on their cousin’s 60 acre property), we’re making them quarantine in their rooms and we’re all wearing masks in the house for ten days. Well, seven after today’s CDC update. It suuuuucks. I feel like I can’t talk to them for long or really hang out much. They can’t hold their baby sister. The whole family just feels very weird, and, well, *distanced.*

 

I’m also just feeling the virus closing in. Too many people way too close to us have been sick. One of our business partners even got exposed and had to quarantine (she’s fine and testing negative, but still). Soooo many clients are canceling their appointments because of exposure, or quarantine, and some have actually even had COVID to varying degrees of severity. It’s scary. 

 

I’m just so sick of it. One of my favorite clients arrived today and automatically went in for the hug and I had to, like, *stop* her, and it just broke my heart. She’s giving birth in two days and I couldn’t give her a hug. I’ve barely seen my friends in over a year. Some of them never even got to meet Ever before everything went to shit. I’m so bored and my poor extroverted heart is lonely. I miss crowds and shows and holding my husband’s hand across a dinner table on a date. 

 

(Also my seasonal affective disorder is clearly kicking in now that it’s dark all the time so bear with me.)

 

Fortunately I’m not having any severe or worrying thoughts. Mentally I’m actually doing okay. I’m not sad. This is more of a physical manifestation of depression. I have NO energy. I have to sit down between clients. When Ever takes her naps, I usually lay down, even when I’ve had a good night’s sleep. I know I need to put up the Christmas tree, but the idea of a task that large sounds overwhelming to me. It’s that kind of functional depression where you’re able to keep up with most of your daily functions, you’re just constantly exhausted. I don’t share this to wallow, it’s more that I think you’ll probably relate. And I’m sorry if you do, I really am. 

 

I hate to do that thing where I talk about a bunch of sad stuff and then end on a happy note, but the baby is such a happy note. Ever is starting to walk, and the way she pads her little feet on the floor like she isn’t quite sure if they’ll work yet, is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe she’s walking. She’s learned her first command, too, the word UP, and she means it! She still wants to REE BUH (read a book) all day long and it just warms the cockles that she’s a book nerd like her daddy. 

 

Yesterday Sean had to take his car in for a warranty replacement and even though he made an appointment, it took three hours, and he had the baby there with him the entire time in the waiting room. She didn’t even fuss once, he said. That’s how desperate even she is to be part of the world right now. I can’t imagine how sick she must be of staying in the same rooms, behind the same gates, in the same house, every single day. By the time my older kids were this age, they were in swimming lessons and gym classes and getting to meet other babies every week. Ever only gets to come to the store occasionally with me and I keep her in the Bjorn the whole time and even then she has to smile and wave at everyone who looks her way. She loves people. She’s an extrovert like her mama and I’m a little sad she doesn’t get more people time. But this is gonna be a weird developmental year for literally all children, not just mine. Again, I’m guessing you can relate. 

 

Ever is ONE today

What an honestly weird year it’s been, both the slowest moving year of my life and the fastest all in one. I can’t imagine what quarantine would have been like without the joy this munchkin has brought to our lives. She’s amazing and Sean and I can’t believe how lucky we are to have her. I know I’ve said this before but I was on the fence about having a baby at this age and one year in I can tell you it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. This child is a wonder.

 

Over the last couple of weeks, Ever’s language has exploded. I wish I had a translator because she talks all the time and I’m convinced SHE knows exactly what she’s trying to say. She’s been saying MAMA and DADA for a while, but now she’s saying MORE and MILK and I’m pretty sure she’s working on BOTTLE and GENOA and DOG and BOOK and READ. 

 

This also means the whining has increased because she’s trying so hard to communicate with us. I’m here for it though. I’m absolutely smitten with her at this age. You only have to look at this child and she smiles. Her disposition is almost always cheerful (unless you tell her she can’t play with your phone). All she wants to do is read. All day long she brings me book after book. She loves Elmo and claps along to the Letter of the Day song. She lights up and waves at her brother and sister when they walk in the room. She teases the dog and cracks herself up. We’re teaching her to blow kisses. 

 

Our schedule has recently changed again since Sean’s FMLA only lasted the first year. I no longer have him home on Tuesday’s so I can work, but big sister has agreed to step in. Genoa will be watching Ever every Tuesday after school and every other Monday when she’s not at her dad’s. This thrills me because there’s nobody Ever loves as much as she loves her big sissy. Not to mention kid labor is a little more affordable than daycare. 

 

Ever is still no where near walking, but I couldn’t be more chill about that. Give her a few more months to grow up on me, that’s fine. I’m already sad she’ll never be this tiny again. And that’s the truth about parenthood. It’s bittersweet. Every milestone is a loss of the baby you used to have. And it’s especially bittersweet knowing this is my last baby. I feel like I already miss this age and it’s not even over yet. I’m just stupid grateful to Sean for giving me this perfect gift. 

Ever is ONE today

What an honestly weird year it’s been, both the slowest moving year of my life and the fastest all in one. I can’t imagine what quarantine would have been like without the joy this munchkin has brought to our lives. She’s amazing and Sean and I can’t believe how lucky we are to have her. I know I’ve said this before but I was on the fence about having a baby at this age and one year in I can tell you it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. This child is a wonder.

 

Over the last couple of weeks, Ever’s language has exploded. I wish I had a translator because she talks all the time and I’m convinced SHE knows exactly what she’s trying to say. She’s been saying MAMA and DADA for a while, but now she’s saying MORE and MILK and I’m pretty sure she’s working on BOTTLE and GENOA and DOG and BOOK and READ. 

 

This also means the whining has increased because she’s trying so hard to communicate with us. I’m here for it though. I’m absolutely smitten with her at this age. You only have to look at this child and she smiles. Her disposition is almost always cheerful (unless you tell her she can’t play with your phone). All she wants to do is read. All day long she brings me book after book. She loves Elmo and claps along to the Letter of the Day song. She lights up and waves at her brother and sister when they walk in the room. She teases the dog and cracks herself up. We’re teaching her to blow kisses. 

 

Our schedule has recently changed again since Sean’s FMLA only lasted the first year. I no longer have him home on Tuesday’s so I can work, but big sister has agreed to step in. Genoa will be watching Ever every Tuesday after school and every other Monday when she’s not at her dad’s. This thrills me because there’s nobody Ever loves as much as she loves her big sissy. Not to mention kid labor is a little more affordable than daycare. 

 

Ever is still no where near walking, but I couldn’t be more chill about that. Give her a few more months to grow up on me, that’s fine. I’m already sad she’ll never be this tiny again. And that’s the truth about parenthood. It’s bittersweet. Every milestone is a loss of the baby you used to have. And it’s especially bittersweet knowing this is my last baby. I feel like I already miss this age and it’s not even over yet. I’m just stupid grateful to Sean for giving me this perfect gift. 

Happy Birthday Ever

Here is Alex, the original owner of the birthday pumpkin pajamas:
And Miss Ever on her birthday, some time before 6am:

And here is her sister on her first birthday:

And Alex, original owner of the pumpkin birthday jammies:

 

Ever is 9 months old already!

This isn’t my first rodeo and I STILL can’t believe how fast it’s gone by. She’s such a frickin delight of a human being already and we all just love her so much. She’s scooting around pretty fast on her belly and can get up on her knees pretty well. She just hasn’t figured out how to achieve forward motion yet. (Which is fine! My big kids never properly crawled either). She’s *everywhere* though, so Sean finished up the baby proofing today. 

 

It’s been an interesting couple of months for us, with me being back to work. I’m really loving getting to see my clients, but I’m also worried we’re going to get shut down again soon. The COVID numbers just aren’t looking good. I would feel a lot safer if I knew people were still social distancing, but most of the people I talk to simply aren’t that afraid of the virus anymore. A lot of them don’t wear masks unless it’s required and that’s scary to someone in the service industry. I keep my room and the shop, in general, at a level of cleanliness where I’m certain no virus could possibly survive on any surfaces, but we’re all still sucking down the same air from behind our masks. I’m so grateful for my job; it’s just such a strange time to be working.

 

Speaking of work, Sean actually took the entire month of July off to be home with the baby. His request for 8 hours a week of FMLA time got denied, so he decided to just take it all in one chunk instead. This worked out really well since July is my busiest month of the year and I could work six days a week while he was home with Ever. It’s been delightful having him around so much and I really haven’t even allowed myself to think about what things will look like when he goes back to work. I know we’re gonna need childcare soon and I’m just dreading it. I never paid for childcare for my big kids and I’m just out of my depth trying to figure out what’s reasonable for both safety and cost. Part of me just wants to go back to working three days a week and stay home with her the rest of the time. We’ll just have to see if we can make that work financially. 

 

Childcare aside, I’m gonna miss Sean when he goes back to work. Our usual schedule is great for work, but horrible for us getting to have any time together. That’s one of the reasons we took a risk and went away for a long weekend in Hood River. It was just a few nights, but it was really nice to go with just the three of us. I broke the bed at our Airbnb (nothing exciting, unfortunately, I just sat on it!) but we ended up just fine on the box spring and mattress on the floor for the rest of our stay. The baby was happy the whole time - she loves having both of her parents at her beck and call. 

 

We got a lot of takeout, but did end up eating at a restaurant after we checked out on the last day we were there. They did a good job of keeping the tables separated and the place felt really clean, but then Ever decided to chew on the side of the table, so I guess we really put that theory to the test. The food was excellent though! 

 

The highlight of the trip was when the three of us were all snuggled together and Ever kept saying, “Mama” over and over again. I said, “yup that’s me, but who’s this guy?” and pointed at Sean and she immediately said, “Dada,” like DUH. It was the cutest thing ever. 

 

Yesterday she said “daddy” as clear as day and Sean’s pretty sure she said “baby” this morning. God I love this phase so much. Nine months is peak baby time (post-newborn, pre-toddler) and we’re soaking up every second. 

 

The big kids are doing well aside from the announcement that school will be online-only in the Fall. They are both super bummed, but I’m 100% relieved not to have to be the bad guy. (They don’t know this, but I was planning to keep them home either way). We literally never fight anymore and I was dreading the ensuing blowout. This way at least it’s not my fault. 

A BRIEF LIST OF THINGS I’M DISINFECTING

My hands

My phone

Front register

Front counter

Front door (inside and out)

Thermometer

My phone

Door knobs

Waxing table & pillow

Foot stool 

Mag lamp

My phone 

Trash can

Dresser (including each individual knob)

Phone charging cable

Vinyl chair

Side table

Wipes container (including inside the inside flaps)

Hand sanitizer dispenser

My phone

My entire stainless steel cart

Including cord for plug

Wax pot

Sticks containers (2)

My phone 

Tool box (tools are submerged in Barbicide)

Finipil pump bottle

Coconut oil pump bottle 

My phone

Calendula spray bottle 

My vinyl apron(s)

My face shield(s)

My phone

MY SOUL 

 

This is pretty much the entire contents of my waxing room. I do this between every client, about 10-15 times a day. Our lobby is closed, but I also hit the bathroom surfaces after any use. Cleaning has always been my least favorite part of the job, but I have NEVER BEEN HAPPIER to do it because it means I get to work. WORK, WORK, WORK. Sweet, delicious work, I missed you SO! 

 

I’m not gonna lie, so much has changed, and we’re all working a lot harder for less money (because we have to book an extra 15 minutes between clients to clean). We have to make people wait in their cars and temperature test everyone before they come in. I already had to reschedule one of my clients because she had a fever! I LOATHE wearing a mask all day. It’s sweaty and hot and I keep having to re-glove when I bend over and it gets in my eyes. Wearing a face shield to do facial waxing is a trip - it’s a fog machine and your voice sounds so loud inside the plastic. We’re going through GALLONS of disinfectant and it’s only been a week. My body is hurting in new and different ways from the additional repetitive stress. And apparently it only takes two days of sanitizing for the veneer on an IKEA dresser to start to bubble! 

 

But you guys, I get to see MY PEOPLE. And even though I can’t hug them, it has been so uplifting just getting to make smily eye contact with them again. It’s so worth every minute of the extra work (and all my clients have been stupidly generous with the tipping this week, which is unnecessary but so sweet and thoughtful). I’m exhausted by the end of the day, but I’m so effing happy to be back.