Mandajuice

Penny wise, pound foolish

What if you thought you were so snarky in your Christmas newsletter and joked about it's lovely (non)Christmas paper and it's lovely (non)Christmas stamp because you bought the paper in JUNE and meant to send it out six months ago as an address change letter?  What if you did that and then you ran out of the funky artsy stamps you had planned to use?  What if you ran out of the stamps and then the only ones you could find (without having to go to the post office) were Santa stamps?

How much of a retard would you look like then?

Also?  I feel really, really sorry for the Salvation Army dude who has to stand there, ringing that STUPID bell, all frickin day.  Seriously.  I can NOT be the only one who tries to avoid eye contact while walking by.  I mean, honestly?  As charitable as I may feel, I'm still cheap.  And donations are only deductible if you get a receipt. 

Enthusiastic punctuation can only carry me so far

Thankfully, Alex is finally starting to feel better.  He's gone from screaming while peeing to just whimpering.  The urologist seems to think his foreskin is a bit too tight at the tip, which can lead to various problems including painful urination.  We've been prescribed some steroid cream* that should help stretch the skin and relieve the problem.  We see her again in a month to check on his penis progress.

Have I mentioned I'm really not in love with this whole working mom thing?  When I'm with Alex, I'm worried about work.  When I'm at work, I'm worried about Alex.  It's really a no-win situation that leaves me feeling about as laid-back as an elephant on a tightrope!  My nails are bitten down to stubs and nothing holds my concentration for more than 30 seconds! But! If I use exclamation points!  It sounds much! better! than! it! is!

* Every time I think about this, I can NOT stop picturing that SNL commercial for Steve Martin's All-Natural Penis Beauty Cream.  That was some comedy gold.

Suck it up already!

I promise, promise, promise that this is the last post about the election.  I'm serious this time.  I HATE political posts.  I really, really do.  I just needed to get this out of my system.   

I'll leave you with one two three four comments:

1. I'm really, really getting tired of seeing this map.  I don't understand why everyone is so scared of Christians.  I swear people would be less offended if the 59 million who voted for Bush were Islamic Fundamentalists.  Seriously.  8 out of 10 people you know love Jesus.  Me?  I am agnostic to the point of almost being atheist, pro-choice and totally neutral on the gay marriage issue (I have a gay sister and I plan a mean wedding - call it self interest).  And yet, I still managed to vote for Bush based on values.  I can't imagine I'm alone on this either.  So, I present this map as evidence that Bush supporters aren't all "radical christian right". 
2. If you voted for Kerry and now you're busy wasting time pouting about it and threatening to move to Canada, SUCK IT UP!!!  I've been conservative my entire adult life and I've pretty much always lived in crack-pot liberal capital of the world.  In the city of San Francisco, over 80% of the vote went to Kerry.  I'm so used to never getting my way that it doesn't even occur to me to bitch about it.  Welcome to my world. 
3. Newsflash: just because someone votes differently than you doesn't mean they are stupid.  I am so sick of people who think that with just a bit more education and lot less religion, everyone would eventually come around to their way of thinking and become Democrats.  Get over yourselves.  Seriously.  And, if the "uneducated, fat, wal-mart shoppers" vote conservatively, it's only because they haven't wasted four years of their lives being brainwashed by America's elite army of liberal college professors.  (In college? Even though I made ZERO long-term friends, every student I shared a class with knew my name.  That Amanda.  That loudmouth.  The one with her hand ALWAYS in the air.  The one who bucked vociferously against institutionalized brainwashing.  The one who challenged the professors to prove that their beliefs were based just as much on values as hers were?  Yeah.  That was me.)  And, as impossible as it may seem, different people can look at the same exact data and draw different conclusions based on their individual perspective and yes, their values.  And THAT is what makes this country great.  We don't all have to think alike.
4. If you thought electing Kerry would bring about ever-lasting world peace and harmony, you were sadly mistaken.  The fact of the matter is that we've PURPOSELY gone and designed a government that moves about as fast molasses on a snow day.  We could've elected Barney and it wouldn't have made that big of a difference.  As always, it's about picking the better of two evils. 

A Giant Douche or a Turd Sandwich?  I figure at least the sandwich has some lettuce.

Not Gloating!

Much.

Kids for Bush!

Ha! I left work early today for a Dr's appointment - part of my never-ending quest to determine the source of the Hives of Doom and irradicate them. I was running early for a change and stopped in to Boulanger for a piece of Foccacia and a diet coke on my way.

Lo and behold, I stumbled upon this:

As I approached them to take a sticker and give them a pat on the back, another woman was leaving. I only walked in towards the *end* of her tirade, but let's just say she wasn't happy with this particular group of campaigners. The few seconds I caught included jems like "evil", "disgusting" and "travesty" all while she was pointing viciously at the sole adult - obviously the kids' mom, who was doing her best to remain calm and keep her kids as far away as possible from the nutjobby.

Hearing that woman made me PROUD to vote for Bush. I apologized to the kids for the Looney Tune and wished them well. Mentioned to the mom how when we dainty Republicans come upon a Kerry campaign table, we're all dignity and respect and stiff upper lips. We'd never spew vitriole like that in front of children. Any children. Actually, we'd probably never feel so superior as to talk to anyone that way. Welcome to "diversity" at its best. No?

PLEASE NOTE: I in NO way shape or form endorse the use of innocent children for political fodder. It's just wrong. Normally, I would've politely accepted a sticker and gone my own way, but these poor kids were scared and I felt the need to lighten things up. My view on kids and politics is that you should raise them with your values, but allow them to form their own opinions. Shallow conservativsm is even worse, in my opinion, than shallow crack-pot liberalism.

ALSO NOTEWORTHY: At the Kids for Bush table, I took a sticker and promptly applied it to my purse - obviously not thinking of the consequences. When I got on the elevator at the Dr's office, I attempted to make small talk with a pleasant-enough looking woman who was obviously shivering from the chilly air, as was I. When I mentioned about the cold, she took one exagerated look at my prominent Bush-Cheney sticker and purposefully looked away - ignoring my comment. It was my first public snubbing!