So I've gained five pounds. Well, as of this morning it's only four. But they've been hanging around for at least a month now. Usually I gain the same five pounds every cycle and then lose them after my period, but alas good old Aunt Flo is MIA. And no, I'm not pregnant. I've just stopped ovulating. Again.
I know five pounds doesn't seem like much. And really? It's not. I can still wear the same clothes comfortably and I don't feel fat. I can see the situation clearly. I'm not freaking out.
But I also know that five pounds becomes seven pounds and then it's just a few more donuts to ten pounds and then fifteen pounds are back and no. I'm just not going down that road. I always said I'd be happy if I could just stay under 200. That was my definition of success.
And therein lies my problem.
I'm a giant lazyass. I'm complacent about my weight, which is well under the 200 lbs I thought I'd be so happy about. I've got this strange thing called perspective that keeps me from freaking out about not being a single digit size. I mean, I was a size 26. Twenty-six. I can fit my entire body into ONE of my old pantlegs.
So it's hard to bitch about five measly pounds. And I flat out REFUSE to ever go on a diet again. The thing about diets? They don't actually work. I'm living proof of that fact.
But I eat WAY too much sugar. Ridiculous amounts of sugar. And not enough vegetables or fruit or protein or fiber. And I NEVER exercise. By never I mean getting up from the couch to switch a load of wash and take it upstairs is about as much as I get. I'm pathetic.
But I'm hopeful too. Election day was a mad rush - both of us trying to get to the polls before leaving for work in the morning. I ended up running home after I voted. Not 'running home' as in hopping into the VW and driving really fast, but running home as in running home. And when I got there (all two blocks later), I felt good. Not all sweaty and out of breath and exhausted like I would've imagined. I liked the running. As brief as it was.
So rather than sit here making false promises to eliminate sugar and forever change my evil ways, I'm just going to start moving again. Tonight while Dave feeds the baby, I'm going for a run. I'll let you know how far I get.
