Today I decided to cancel all my weekend plans except brunch, which I'll barely be attending since I'm going with Daniel to a flogging workshop that afternoon instead.
I mostly just want to chill out with my girl. Alex wanted to stay with his dad for the weekend (and presumably dad's playstation since I still don't even have a TV), so we're coloring rainbow turkeys and going out to my favorite Italian place. (Which is pretty selfish considering I could take her to HER favorite place, but mama don't eat Spaghetti Factory. She can go ahead and stomach the hand-rolled pasta and fresh butter at Pizza Fino. My bad!) Tomorrow we're having brunch with Patrick's mom and then getting a mani/pedi at our favorite place followed by a color/cut with my stylist (the woman who single-handedly kept my child out of dreadlocks by teaching her how to brush her hair).
Then on Monday I'm seeing my doctor. Mostly because I'm pretty sure it's not normal to spend 10 minutes crying in the shower because you REALLY wanted an English muffin and there weren't any left when you got home and that was the final straw in an already difficult two hours of being awake for the day. Patrick ordered me a happy light that will get here tomorrow, so I'm hoping I WON'T have to change my meds, but I'm open to it. I don't want to drag my feet. I need to drop this (depression) while it's hot.
Genoa's dad and I are working on finding her a child psychologist who specializes in OCD, so I'm hoping her appointment won't be long after mine. Even SHE is excited about talking to someone - anyone - who might be able to help. I'm clearly not that person and neither is her dad. Oddly enough, we are the only two people she acts out with; it doesn't even happen at school. She claims she only does it to us because we're "safe." Last night all it took to calm her down when she couldn't shut off her brain was Patrick walking into the room behind me and simply being there. He didn't even have to say a word. Let's just say I'm glad he'll be home tonight because Mama needs all the help she can get.