The strangest thing seems to be happening this year - I feel like I'm finally getting my shit together. For the first time in my adult life I seem to be able to keep my house together and the bills paid early every month. I've been at the same job for FIVE YEARS. I rarely leave dishes in the sink and most of the time I actually put away our clean clothes after I wash them. I pack lunches for Sean and the kids every day. My pantry is well stocked and I'm not out of anything (except dog food, I need to buy dog food). The kids haven't been late to school once this year. I have cash in the bank and a plan for my future. It's the WEIRDEST thing.
I'm, like, STABLE. Or something.
I think I've got some good theories as to why. Not drinking is the most obvious one. Sean is maybe the less obvious reason, but I've never had a partner this emotionally responsible and that has made an enormous difference in my mental health. The least obvious reason will be obvious to YOU, but was a mystery to me until I could see it with some hindsight: the body count. For the past few years I was living in a house with TEN people and felt like I was shepherding another 30-40 every Sunday. Now there are only four of us. OF COURSE my life is easier to manage. This is cake.
Anyway, all this stability got to my head and I bought myself a red convertible. Ostensibly, it was because I started worrying about the future again. I want to buy another house some day and that means I'll need a credit score above 600. So I bought a car to improve my credit. But honestly when my mom came to visit in June, she ended up renting a Beetle. I drove it a few times and it reminded me how badly I wanted one before I had kids. When I found the perfect used one (a 2013 turbo with 16k miles) and also got financed for under 8%, there was no way I could resist. Hell, at least now I can say my mid life crisis is complete.
I love driving a convertible so much that it makes me feel like I've been living a lie my whole life. I have been incomplete as a human being. Now my rule is if it's over 60 degrees and not raining, the top is down, night or day. And I'm developing a serious fetish for cold night air and heated seats. And really REALLY loud bass because the car I found also happened to have a Fender audio system. Alex is a huge fan. YUGE. I love it as much as I ever loved my Lola Benz, which I haven't sold yet. I'm hoping to save it for Alex, but will probably end up selling it for the garage space. I haven't decided yet. But one of the things I loved most about that old car was that I always felt like I was part of the road while driving it. I had to roll down all the windows since it didn't have AC and that meant smelling the ovens being cleaned at my favorite pizza place on the drive to work or actually having a conversation with a person asking for change because I wasn't stuck in my air-conditioned bubble pretending the rest of the world didn't exist. A convertible is like that only so much more fun. I would feel guilty for treating myself to such a luxury, but I quit drinking this year and couldn't think of a better way to reward my efforts.
And it worked, anyway. My credit is already up 70 points.