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« ASSHOLES | Main | Pacific City »

December 29, 2015

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Lori

That does hurt. I've been in similar situations, and I'm "domestic as fuck" (love it), too. I hope y'all are able to work it all out and grow together as a couple. You're a fighter, so I'm not worried at all that you will keep calm and carry on. Peace, sister.

Lydia

Sadly, I could say the same of myself. I, too, am hardwired for daily domesticity. I do have one partner, my amazing husband of a million years, who is similarly wired and somehow seems to love being with me every day of his life lol. The other one is, well.. he's been engaged any number of times and indeed lived with women for periods of time, but truly is a 'confirmed bachelor' (do they even use that term anymore?). Occasionally when he's feeling lonely, he'll wish that I caould be there alll the time with the meal fixing and back rubbing and other stuffs. But given that I am indeed 'too much' in many ways, he'd run screaming inside of a week. We've been together 2.5 years, and it's STILL hard for me to accept that without feeling personally rejected. So.. I feel ya. I truly really do. I'm proud of you guys for working through your shit; most people would have just given up.

Carla

Dearest Amanda,
This has totally been my life story since day 1: always, and always (forever!) 'Too, too much and not enough!' LOLZ Perhaps there is a whole *bunch* of US running around??!! Happy New Year! xxooxx

Tiffany

I wish i had a wife. Love sucks most days. Hoping everything works out

cindy w

I think "always too much but never enough" is a terribly hurtful thing to think about yourself, and I really hope you don't decide to tattoo it on yourself.

mommanuh

I wish I could say that I am totally in your boat but I have to admit I'm somewhat in the other boat too. I have been married to a fantastic hubby for 18 yrs. Four kids and all the trimmings and I'm happy bUT there was a time I checked out. I didn't get to physically leave but I almost wished I had. ..maybe some scars would be less noticeable. All that to say, I did come back to appreciate the domesticity and love that I thought I needed away from. For me, it was because I was always heeding everyone else and bought following my own feelings or choice making. ..even if the choices would be wrong. I still make dumb mistakes bUT I'm learning to process it in a balanced way that makes things hurt less for all of those involved. Please find courage in yourself and choices. Life works it's way out in the most crazy ways. Thank you for being willing to be vulnerable. Hugs

Alex

I agree with Cindy W. I used to have a thing I'd say about myself ("Everybody wants me until they can have me,") but I ditched it when I realized (ha, when my therapist pointed out) it was an extremely limiting box to put myself in, with an incredibly depressing end result that didn't match the life I WANTED to live. The way you think about yourself is the starting point for how everyone else learns to think about you, too. Tattooing this particular label on your body permanently, in some ways, seems like defeat, like if you haven't met your perfect match by now, how could you ever expect to? And you'll be more likely to go into new relationships EXPECTING that person to think you're too much but not enough. You're just the right amount of you for the persons who match your vibration--clearly, Patrick doesn't. You being you isn't a flaw, Amanda, but phrasing it that way sure makes it seem like it is.

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