1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?
I hugged a tree.
I ran a half marathon. Or three.
I fell in love with a forest.
And a bridge.
And a town.
I wrote and performed a five-minute stand-up routine.
I bought a biodiesel.
I downsized my possessions and upsized my freedom.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I can't remember making any, so no. My only resolution for 2014 is to run. Just... keep running.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My oldest bestest friend had a baby girl on December 6th. Her name is Piper. I have waited to meet her for a very, very long time. Decades. I was honestly a little terrified that my friend wouldn't ever get to be a mom and I can't even express how grateful I am to the universe for making it so. I've never been this excited about a baby that didn't come out of my own vagina. I got to meet her on Christmas day and she is the most beautiful child I've seen since my own. I was the one sobbing like a baby.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Unfortunately, yes. Oh Fred. It's still strange that I wasn't as close to Fred before he died as I feel like I am now that I'm living in his house. But he is missed daily. (Nobody tell him we're running the furnace this much, mmmkay?!)
5. What countries did you visit?
The People's Republic of Portland. Isweartogodthisistheyearirenewmypassportforfuckssake.
6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I feel like I should remember some sad dates, but without looking any of them up, I think of The 4th of July because it was my first real date with Patrick. Alex's birthday is up there too. Our trip to Disneyland was unforgettably awesome.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I chose my children and my happiness over romantic love. It sucked. Unfortunately there's no epidural for the human heart.
9. What was your biggest failure?
See number eight above.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Healthy as a fucking horse. And not just ANY horse, one of those Budweiser Clydsdales.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Lola. Best car ever.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Samnterry. Again. I don't call them My People for nothing. (Patrick, who scraped Genoa's barf out of the back seat of my Dad's car on our trip to San Francisco, was a close second.)
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My own. Again. I'm the only one capable of ruining my mental health.
14. Where did most of your money go?
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
St. John's. I've never loved a town this much. I'm gonna try to live here for the rest of my life.
16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
Fucking Problems by ASAP Rocky. I did so much awkward twerking to that song, you guys. You have no idea.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- a) happier or sadder? Happier. So much happier.
- b) thinner or fatter? Fifteen pounds heavier! (But my Rosie the Riveter guns will totally kick your ass.)
- c) richer or poorer? Richer. I can pay my bills. I'm not selling blood to pay my boyfriend's rent. YOUHAVENOIDEAHOWRADTHATIS.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my kids, my boyrfriend, my oldest friend, her baby and my big extended family. In California. It was rad.
21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
Yup. Even better is that my kids love Patrick as much as I do.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Same response as last year: what is this "TV" of which you speak?!?
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No. I can't think of ANYONE I hate.
24. What was the best book you read?
The Ethical Slut.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
26. What did you want and get?
27. What did you want and not get?
Joel. New year, same shit. Only this time I only miss having him as a friend. He won't speak to me, which is strange because at this point I only want to see how he's doing and pat him on the back for his nerdy Hitchcock writing.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Love Actually. TEN years running! It practically took an act of god to get my schedule to allow for it, but Patrick and I watched it right before Christmas. (Right after he showed me It's a Wonderful Life for the first time. We both cried at both movies.)
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 37. I was in California and Joel and I spent the day in San Francisco together.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
Purple haired Penelope the pussy comic from portland.
32. What kept you sane?
Ramona. (My magical therapist). Always.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Queen Bey. Dayem.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
35. Who did you miss?
Joel. Although less now than when we were still together.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
One Mr. Patrick Curtain. Sure, it wasn't the first time we met, but still. Keeper.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.
Just. Keep. Running.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.