I work best at the last minute. Not that I've ever tested that hypothesis or anything.

So I got my application submitted mere hours before the PSU deadline. All of my transcripts and references went through. Woot! Now I get to sit back and wait to see if they call me for an interview. Apparently only 400 people applied for the 60 spots, so it's not like I have any competition or anything. I clearly have nothing to be nervous about. Especially not this paragraph from my admissions essay where I talk about how my clients trust me:

This trust means there is approximately a six-minute delay between the initial handshake and the moment I’m inspecting naked genitalia under a magnifying lamp. The result of this just-add-water intimacy is that my clients (both men and women of all shapes, colors, ages and sizes) not only drop their pants for me, but their shields. They tell me everything. I hear about their broken marriages, their narcissistic mothers, their anxieties and self-doubt, their low self-esteem, their body issues, their sexual abuse, and, on a good day, their triumphs.  And while I constantly strive to be a good listener, I wish I had better answers, or, at the very least, better questions.

I'm in like Flynn, right?

The thing is, I could've written a very academic essay about my accomplishments and why I want to be a counselor, but I figured I'd just be me and write it like a blog post. I hope it works because the more I think about it, the more excited I am about going back to school. Even if it's not this year, it is a life goal I intend to pursue.

And for the record, I'm not doing it for the money. Did we not discuss this yet? I would like to live above the poverty line and some day help other poor, single mothers do the same. That's about it, though. I want to become a therapist because I think it's what I'm supposed to do. Something about me (my openness? my fearlessness? my utter disdain for judging anyone whose shoes aren’t on my side of the closet?) makes complete strangers comfortable telling me their secrets. They've done it my whole life. So pursuing this path just feels like I'm finally listening to what the universe is trying to tell me. 

So cross your fingers for me, will ya?

Comments

[Jimmie]

I love it. I read applications as part of my job, and if I read something as out of the ordinary as what you wrote, I'd give you an interview if for no other reason than to meet the woman with balls enough to talk about vagina-waxing on an application essay. :) Crossing fingers and toes and hoping you get in! What a great path for you.

[Jennifer]

Fingers crossed!

[Canadian Rachel]

I'm late to the party, but I think you're doing the right thing, and debt be damned. You want to help single mothers? Their kids? You're going the right direction, I think. Social work might be another angle on it; I know social workers who perform a lot of counselling tasks. Any angle through your church? The way will present itself. You are smart, you are creative, you will find it.

[Meredith]

Oh honey, my fingers are ALWAYS crossed for you! But, somehow, I think, instead of luck, it's much more fun to watch you make a 90 degree turn and blaze a new trail!

[Lisa]

In your last post you said you were doing this because you were "fucking sick of being poor" and needed to "mow yourself down a future."

When confronted with the cold, hard fact that this path doesn't translate into a secure future, all of a sudden you are doing it to "stay above the poverty line and help other single mothers do the same"?

I don't buy it.

[laura]

Fingers are so crossed for you!!

[Kara]

I'm currently in an MA program in Clinical Mental Health Counseling on the East Coast. Just a tip: if you want to do this with no debt, the best way (as there are almost 0 scholarships in this field at the MA level) is to get a full-time job at the university. I do administrative work for a pittance of about $36,000 a year, but I get 97 percent of my tuition paid by the University. This means I pay about $150 per class (instead of the usual $4,000 per class price tag). You have to go slower (two classes a semester max), but it's SO worth it to avoid having $72,000 (18 classes x $4000 per class) in debt. Good luck.

[Nancy]

You are broke - why would you willingly go into significant debt (if you can even get the loans) when you are already struggling? Great motives and all, but what happened to your writing?