1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
Got a tattoo.
Ate a chicken I grew from scratch.
Mastered at least three new kinds of orgasm.
Mastered at least six new kinds of pasta sauce.
Made probably 100 new recipes.
Fell asleep while my daughter read out loud to me.
Got into a single digit sized pair of jeans.
Mastered the daily practice of cleaning up after a 16-year-old dog.
Became a regular church-goer.
I'm sure there are a million more things, but I actually want to get this list published before the end of the year.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't have the capacity to make resolutions last year, so I guess my only goal was to stay alive and that happened, so WIN! I think I will make resolutions this year, so stay tuned.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My cousin Scott and his beautiful wife Renee had a baby girl named Esme, who I, quite sadly, have not yet held.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
5. What countries did you visit?
The People's Republic of Portland.
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
Presence. Same shit, new year.
7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Well Joel and Alex's birthdays are etched upon my BODY, so that was pretty memorable.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I learned to feel my feelings. A curse I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to make things work with Joel. It's pretty fucking hard to walk away from the love of your life. (Not that I've been able to do so yet.)
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Does mental illness count?
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Wellbutrin, followed closely by Clonazepam.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Samnterry and their daughter Sophie. There's the family you GIT and the family you CHOOSE.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
14. Where did most of your money go?
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Food. My garden. Cooking in general. Which is strange considering how much weight I lost this year.
16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
"One and Only" by Adele (At least that's the song I would stay up singing until the wee hours in my kitchen after Joel moved out.)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- a) happier or sadder? Sadder. Maybe even jaded.
- b) thinner or fatter? Thinner. Skinny like a fox.
- c) richer or poorer? Poorer. You have no idea.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
20. How did you spend Christmas?
My Christmas was totally surreal. I woke up in Joel's bed, raced home to play Santa for my children, hung out with Dave for four hours in my kitchen while the kids played with their toys and then spent the following 24-hours with Joel in various stages of undress. I think we were trying to get one another out of our systems and I'm not sure it worked at all (certainly not for me. I've never wanted him more.). I barely heard from my family (no surprise there), but it was one of the best Christmases I've ever had. I got to just... be. I got to love and be loved, accept and be accepted. The only thing missing was My People.
21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
Over and over and over again. Joel and I broke up (again) three days before Christmas and still, I have never loved him more. Or anyone else for that matter.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
What is this "TV" of which you speak?!?
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
24. What was the best book you read?
Did I have time to read? If I did I can't remember what.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Liz Longley. Particularly the song "When You've Got Trouble."
26. What did you want and get?
27. What did you want and not get?
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Love Actually. Nine years running!
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 36. We had a Cinco de Mayo party with all of our peoples. We went through several gallons of tequila.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Peg Bundy meets blond Robert Palmer girl.
32. What kept you sane?
Ramona. (My magical therapist).
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Booker T. Isn't he a celebrity?
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Poverty. My own. That of others. What we should do about it.
35. Who did you miss?
My biological family.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Dave. Sure, I was married to him for 12 years, but that was a different guy.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
As if I've learned a goddamn thing!? If anything, I've learned how very, very little I know about most things.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way
But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away
I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all