Turncoat Tuesday 2012

Four years ago, I voted for John McCain. I didn't apologize for it, but November 2008 was also the first time I ever had to take Xanax to help me sleep. I thought of myself as a die hard conservative back then, in spite of holding almost all of the same views I hold now.

However...

Four years ago:

• I was married.
• Our annual income was over six figures.
• Our credit ratings were both over 800.
• We owned our home.
• We had premium health insurance paid for by my ex's employer.
• We had retirement savings.
• We had an emergency fund, a college fund and enough money every month to more than pay all of our bills.

We also had NO FUCKING CLUE.

This year I voted for Barack Obama.

It was the first time I've ever voted for a Democrat and I say that as a woman who hasn't missed an election (Federal, State or Local) since 1994 (the year I turned 18). I was planning to come up with this amazing Excel spreadsheet to help me determine exactly how to vote this year, but at some point I realized I simply couldn't vote for Mitt Romney no matter how hard I tried.

Of course, four years later, I'm pretty much a textbook Democrat:

• I'm a single mom.
• I rent (not own) a home I can barely afford.
• My annual income is well below the poverty level for a family of three.
• I have NO IDEA what my credit score is because I'm terrified to look at it. (Or answer my phone unless I recognize the number).
• I'm uninsured and my medications cost me over $100/month out of pocket.
• My kids have state-funded health insurance.
• I am two months behind on every utility bill I have, in spite of the fact that Dave helped stop my electricity from getting shut off last month. (Thank you, Babydaddy!)
• My house isn't heated because I can't afford the oil.
• I'm back on food stamps. This time in Oregon, which provides $100 less per month than Washington did.
• (I have never been happier with my choices, either, lest you think this is a cry for financial aid...)

But my presidential choice wasn't as straight-forward as you'd think. I'm still a Libertarian on the inside! The last straw didn't really come until I was filling out my ballot and realized that I had sex with a woman last week. (At least by Bill Clinton's definition.)  How could I possibly justify voting for an anti-gay, anti-abortion creationist??

So, sure, Obama is the obvious knee-jerk reaction to my extremely liberal lifestyle of self-chosen poverty, but it's so much more than my sexual identity or (lack of) religious affiliation that's forced me to switch parties. It's that when Republicans talk about going back to the Good Old Days, their voices are full of anger and venom and righteous indignation. I'm not going to argue that the Democrats are that much better, especially when it comes to mighty self-righteousness, but if I've learned ANYTHING over the past four years, it's the word I just had tattooed on my wrist: LISTEN.

Because if you listen carefully - without prejudice (or at least with equal prejudice for both parties) - you might actually hear a sliver of unrehearsed compassion fall from the lips of a politician. I know! Impossible! But as someone who all too often gets by on the compassion of others, it's something I'm acutely aware of and something I've learned to listen for. And more often than not, that unscripted moment of true empathy seems to come from a Democrat, not a Republican.

So I'm voting for Barack Obama because he has a level of compassion I don't believe Mitt Romney could ever understand. It's a level of compassion I never understood myself until I was on the receiving end of it.

Oh! How the mighty fall! And how they regret - DEEPLY - their previously uncharitable ways.

(You have no idea how much I regret the years I had money and never thought to use it to help anyone other than myself.) (NO. IDEA.)

...

Four years ago, I wrote about the election and even though I've switched paths and parties (and hair colors) along the way, I still agree wholeheartedly with the old me:

"If we really want to improve this country, we ALL have to be open-minded and respectful and when we reach across the aisle, it shouldn't just be to slap someone on the other side.  My biggest hope for Tuesday is that we can all remember that, no matter who wins."

So go on and vote with your bad self! We all arrive at our political opinions from different places and I would never judge my fellow American because of the cut of their jib or the cast of their ballot. Ideas have value, even (or maybe especially) when I don't agree with them. Diversity of thought and experience is what makes this country great. We couldn't have our Obama's without our Romney's and McCain's.

Or, as it turns out, our Bill Murray's and Betty White's...May the best man win.

Comments

[taylor k]

I also voted for (and campeigned hard for) McCain last time around. This year, however, I feel like I am looking at the bigger picture. I want to secure recognition, access to funding, and mainstream debate participation for the libertarian party - even without winning the presidency this go round, we can do that with just 5% of the American vote in this election. That is the bigger picture. That makes it more likely for people to even know these type of candidates exist (because right now their exposure is extremely limited) in future elections and to get a libertarian in office to fix our countries problems. Both Obama and Romney support socialized medicine and healthcare mandates, Section 1021 of the NDAA, the Patriot Act, the TARP bailouts, endless war policing, the CISPA, and so many other things that are aimed directly at taking away our freedoms and making government bigger - not smaller. These are the reasons that I can not in good conscience vote for Romney OR Obama. They are essentially the same candidate and would essentially be the same president. No real or substantial change will occur by voting in Romney - minor changes, yes, but nothing substantial. Romenycare is different than Obamacare, as an example, but they are both still forms of socialized medicine. Are they not? Real change will only happen if we stop the Left! Right! Left! Right! March that has been going on for decades and decades and decades.

I am voting for Johnson, without regret, but with that being said I do consider Romney to be a more charitable man than Obama - He has donated more of his personal money than Obama has by millions. He doesn't have my vote, but i admire his willingness to give his own money away like he has done time and time again. I don't think any politician should be able to take our money via illegal tax and then forcefully give it away and consider it charitable... Giving your own money speaks volumes, though.

Its going to be an interesting election. Its only hours away from ending and there are still so many people who are undecided.

[Mike]

Hooray Amanda! There's much more to being a democrat than being poor! caring for others while not caring who others care for.

Taylor it is not hard to be charitable when you have that much money. Look at where it came from and that's where my problems with Romney begin. Then he picks Ryan as vp. The differences are substantial and as a libertarian, I'd think you wouldn't want the government weaseling in between a woman's legs to stop an abortion or into a wedding to stop a marriage.

Also, it's not an illegal tax...at least according to the Supreme Court.

[Deena]

Um...way to bury the lead, there. :)

[Crystal]

Listen, I loved your post about your voting choices and such. But really, WE WANT THE DIRT ON THE "SOME WHAT" SEX WITH A WOMAN!!

Keep writing love.....

Crystal

[Rachel R.]

Taylor: It is possible that Romney donated that money as a way to get out of paying more taxes. Donations are loopholes in the system, and Romney's tax returns have shown that he claimed those charitable donations and paid less in taxes than the average person.

[Kris]

"So I'm voting for Barack Obama because he has a level of compassion I don't believe Mitt Romney could ever understand. " That just shows a lack of paying attention, since Romney is a well known philanthropist and served as bishop of his church for 20 plus years, spending his "spare" time counseling others in their times of need. Anyone who has a true libertarian leaning would never, ever vote for Barry, who is on the exact opposite of the policy spectrum.

[Joeandja]

Uh, yeah... In the state of Oregon, it's illegal to photograph and post your completed ballot.

  (7) A person may not show the person’s own marked ballot to another person to reveal how it was marked.

[Julie]

So, Obama for President, but you vote for the Republican Labor Commissioner candidate? And you apparently are so opposed to voting for a Democrat for the state legislature (you know, the people who can affect how much in food stamps you receive) that you wrote in Chuck Norris?

Of course the Presidential election matters, but in Oregon your votes in these other races are much more likely to affect your life (particularly the Labor Commissioner race, which is very, very close). I mean, I know it's hard to put yourself in the situation of someone who might need protection from illegal labor practices, but perhaps one day you'll find yourself in that situation and then (only then, apparently) you'll be more sympathetic.

Also, your caricature of "a textbook Democrat" is pretty offensive. I'm a lifelong Democrat -- I'm also a small business owner, have a six figure income, am married, own my own home (plus a rental property), have a great credit score, retirement, health care, etc. And yet, somehow, I manage to have empathy for people who did not have the advantages I had, who lose their jobs through no fault of their own, who are bankrupted by illness.

[Amanda P. Westmont]

Crystal - There was a man there too, if that helps set the scene.

Kris - Philanthropy and compassion are the not the same thing.

Julie - I carefully read the statements from each candidate and voted accordingly. Sometimes that meant I chose a Republican instead of a Democrat. And I only wrote in those names when there either was NO candidate running or when the candidate was running unopposed. This ain't my first rodeo.

[taylor k]

For the record, since my first comment may have been misunderstood, I am actually a Mormon. I do not support Romney for President. I also think Abortion and Gay Marriage should be legal - I believe that everyone should have the right to choose what to do with their life and their body without unnecessary government interference. Now, are these things moral? That is another topic that doesn't belong in a political discussion. Ever. As far as who gave more of their personal money I still stand by my previous statement - Romany gave more than Obama. Was it for a tax discount? Sure, some of it probably was. Our system is corrupt and and has lots loopholes that need fixing.

[Julie]

Reasonable people can disagree about the Labor Commissioner race (and of course there can be bad/unqualified Democratic candidates -- Brad Avakian is not one of them, but, still, I've certainly voted for a Republican or two in my day). But, having read their voter's pamphlet statements myself, I saw your logic about the Presidential race as applying directly to the Labor Commissioner race as well, for a number of reasons.

Also, call me "self-righteous", but I am honestly disgusted that you would write in joke candidates in those races. This is the 100th anniversary in Oregon of women getting the right to vote. And you write in Chuck Norris and Betty White. I share your dismay at people running unopposed, but don't make a mockery of your vote. Don't waste the time of our election officials by making them count your BS write-in vote. Either don't vote at all in those races or write in someone you actually would like to have the position (or run a write in campaign yourself!).

[AmyH]

I'm very glad you supported Obama. Looking forward to the rest of the story...

[Joey]

Not trolling! But what is your definition of being Libertarian?

[Susan DeMateo]

Are you kidding me with your "text book Democrat" description? I'm a staunch Democrat and I have never been on assistance, I have a great career, my kids are well taken care of, my husband and I make a lot of money and proudly pay our taxes.... Just when I think you can't get anymore clueless... Also, what does slutting out with a woman have to do with politics? You're a joke.

[B]

Okay, I take serious issue with your describing your situation as "chosen poverty." Maybe you are being overly dramatic and mean that you have less money because you left an untenable marriage.

But if you are choosing to be "poor" and accepting public benefits when you have other options to provide for yourself and your kids? Not cool.

I am a huge supporter of the "safety net" and work for one such program. We constantly have to fight the image that everyone who uses our program is lazy and could get by on their own if they wanted to. Most poor people would do anything NOT to be poor.

Your kids are in school, only with you 50% of time anyway, you have a degree and career experience. Lots of "poor single moms" have none of those things. If you have any way to work more hours, I really think you should do it.

[meme]

"textbook Democrat"...seriously? Sounds like you are still clueless, just grasping for justifications.