* I beat my kids' asses at Sorry tonight and I'm not even sorry.
* I just made cheese. Literally.
* The two Beyblades I bought for the kids today were one of the best investments I've ever made.
* Next time I decide to grow my hair out, please reming me that I just blew my hair dry in the time it took me to urinate.
* I think I just woke Genoa up with my Hitachi Magic Wand. "What was that SOUND, Mommy?" "I don't know, Sweetie, but I heard it too! But it stopped, so you can go back to sleep now..."
* Storm Large can suck it for stealing what should have been the last line of MY memoir:
"Even if you think I suck, you are a little bit happier for getting to hate me. You're welcome."