Our baby chick, Emily, started off SO CUTE!
She was sweet and she followed around her big brown sister Cinnamon Chip like she was a queen. I even remember her climbing into my (then bosomy) cleavage for a nap or two.
Then, about a week ago, Joel and I moved down into the basement while he was sick and that's when we both heard it.
It's not LOUD yet, but when you hear a cock-a-doodle-do, you know it.
Emily turned out to be a transvestite chicken.
I would feel bad about the fact that we're going to have to eat her/him now (because roosters are illegal within city limits, for obvious reasons) except for the fact that a) S/HE'LL BE DELICIOUS and b) S/He keeps raping his older sister!
I mean, just watch!
First s/he's all cool and nonchalant.
I mean, not that neck-biting isn't hot or anything, but it's not like Cinnamon Chip was PREPARED for it. Then s/he had to go get his/her butt all ready for it. (Because, after googling CHICKEN SEX, I now know that all chickens - male and female - only have ONE import/export dock. The only difference is that the boys can squirt happy juice from theirs and the girls can't. Which explains how difficult it is to sex baby chickens and why it was so easy for us to end up with a rooster...)
Now we have a fertilized egg.
And a big, fat, two-timing cock who walks away as if nothing just happened.
Poor, poor Cinnamon Chip.
Lucky us. Because basically, what we have on our hands is a delicious, delicious problem.