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GRAVY

  • My first novel started with a mole. Yes, a MOLE - a freckle, a birthmark, whatever you want to call it.
  • I was at the pool with my daughter getting ignored by our swim instructor when a lifeguard with a particularly ripped abdomen walked by. He stopped to flirt with one of the female lifeguards and my eyes flew directly to an adorable mole on the top can of his six-pack.
  • "How cute!" I thought (among other things). "He looks like a character in a romance novel!"
  • So I went home and started writing fiction for the first time. That was over a year ago and I still haven't been able to stop. GRAVY is the story of a suburban housewife who wants another baby, but gets a man with a mole instead.
  • GRAVY is now available on Kindle and Nook!

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« FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY | Main | Which novel should I finish writing? You read the first chapters and VOTE. »

July 30, 2012

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Sara

This one had me laughing and crying at the same time. You were so quick to point out how skinny I am, yet it's so hard for me to see myself as skinny. To me, I'm still the overweight teen growing up, or maybe even the obese mom of a few years ago. It's pretty hard still to accept the recent weight loss. I'm glad your therapist has helped you to figure out what's going on (or at least hopefully), and hope you can wrap your brain around it. Take care!!

Rachel R.

This post worries me. It sounds like a lot of the way many women think, and that's a bad thing. "I will be normal and feel better once I reach a size six or once I reach a size four." In my case, that's a size two (that's what I was in my early 30s; my high school size was below a zero; very fast metabolism, and I'm short). This sounds similar to that logic of problems being solved if the weight gets low enough or the end goal being to be tiny (I know that you are saying essentially the opposite, but the idea is the same). I don't buy into it. Yes, 5'7" women can be a size six (not a size two; that is far too small), but it also depends on bone structure, etc. There are a lot of factors that go into "healthy weight." My half-sister is 5'7" and is far too tiny at a six but gorgeous and healthy in a 10 (I mention "half-sister" because we have totally different frames and bone structures). Plus, I'm concerned that your therapist telling you that not eating is making progress. The way that you are not eating is destructive to your body. You need nutrients and calories to be healthy and regulate blood sugar. Gauging mental health by food intake is not healthy, in my opinion.

Amber

Ooh, I love the end of this. Well said.

Valerie

While I can appreciate your train of thought and your therapist's....not eating is NOT a healthy way to lose weight Amanda! Science has proven again and again that your body goes into starvation mode when you don't eat and when you do return to normal eating patterns, you will gain weight back. Your body is eating away at any muscle you may have. Please eat again soon...be mentally AND physically healthy.

Amanda P. Westmont

Oh, Val, I AM eating. Promise. And when I DO eat, it's healthy and plentiful. It's just when I get really upset that I can't eat. Mostly, I'm just eating less and drinking protein shakes, etc. Basically, I'm eating exactly how I ate right after my surgery. I'm also pounding vitamins like a maniac. ;)

Amy

It's not the progress you're making that is causing you to not eat. It's the Wellbutrin. That's why they don't prescribe it to people with a history of eating disorders.

Faraway Reader

This post and the other one are worrying. It can be a very slippery slope. Take care of yourself !

Rachel R.

I also want to mention that using food to stifle your feelings goes both ways. I know people on both sides where they over or under-eat to deal with negative emotions. Right now, it very much sounds like you're doing the latter. I just think that it is dangerous to equate being small and not eating to getting mentally healthier.

Anon

1) it might be the wellbutrin causing you not to eat, it's known to do that

2) if you are eating as little as you claim, your metabolism will shut down and may never recover, and when you return to a regular intake of calories, you'll gain a bunch right back. Prepare yourself mentally for that.

Elizabeth

I love the illustration at the ending of this post.
At least you are recognizing when & why you don't eat & why you do; a lot of people fail to do so & become mental & physical prisoners of their body.
It seems like control is a focus of some things you are dealing with (right there with you!) Like the others, there are some health concerns, why are you eating NOW, like after your gastric bypass? You are physically not that person.
Kudos on progress, endurance during the times of shit, & keep on embracing life's lessons.

Shannon

I would bet money on this being caused by the Wellbutrin. I don't know if that would be upsetting or a relief to you, but this whole experience sounds textbook Wellbutrin-y to me.

AngstyJen

Would it be missing the point of the story if I said that I take Wellbutrin and still eat way too much? I think you are definitely losing the weight because you're feeling your feelings...I just started Weight Watchers again because feelings = ouchy.

MacMadame

Sorry, but I think Oprah is full of it. I ate because I was hungry all the time. I had WLS and now I'm only hungry when I need food. End of story.

I actually got a book on Emotional Eating pre-WLS because I figured if I was going to pay some dude thousands of dollars to cut me up, I might as well make sure I had my emotional shit in order. And after two chapters I was bored to tears and it was pretty clear I didn't eat to stuff down my feelings.

Also, don't you think Oprah has had more therapy than God? Yet she's still fat.

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