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« Ode to Sam Hill | Main | Summertime and the living is... not bad at all. »

July 10, 2012


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Huge hugs. I'm thinking about you.


That just sucks. I'm sorry I don't have a more eloquent way to say it, but that's the bottom line. Sorry.


I'm so sorry. Doesn't make it any better, but I'm missing my son tonight too.

cindy w

I don't have any words of wisdom. I'm just so sorry.

Rayne of Terror

Why are the kids gone for three weeks? Is this the summer custody vacation time? Maybe once you get to a year you can modify that because hoo boy.


You didn't get to kiss your kids goodnight because you were off on a vacation with your boyfriend. It was your own choice. It was also your choice to cut your parents out of your life. Be glad that your parents still love Genoa and Alex and want a relationship with them, whether they contact you or Dave to do that.


Oh Hon, I'm sorry I haven't commented much, but this post mad me so sad and I wanted to send you many many hugs. I wish I knew the right thing to say (I don't) and the right thing to do (I don't) but I did want to say I am so sorry and that I wish I could give you hugs and say it is ok to feel this grief, it is OK to cry and give you as many hugs and margaritas you need. You are in my thoughts.


I am just so sorry. The mama heart is just so fragile.


Wow. Take a short weekend trip which you would have brought your kids on IF YOU HAD THEM and Sarah goes all bitchy on your ass.

Also, as a person who has not seen her parents in 11 years - cutting your parents out of your life is not a choice. It's a protective measure you're forced to take so they don't keep hurting you, or by extension, your kids. I miss them and it hurts. It always will. But if I actually had a fucking CHOICE I would not have chosen to deny myself of that relationship.

I don't think Amanda would either. For God's sake, Sarah, put a sock in it.


Amanda-I'm sorry you're hurting. Between your intial FB post and this one-I can see your progression in working out your anger and grief. From what I can see-you are really missing the kids and I sure don't blame you. I can't imagine going so long! So-that, coupled with the emotions regarding your relationship with your parents . . . .it's tough. However-we've had this conversation before the last time this happened-you DO want the kids and grandparents to have a relationship. And it's a bonus that they are doing it on Dave's time rather than your time. And by going through Dave-you don't have to communicate with them. Maybe they think they are doing exactly what you want? Or maybe you have asked that they communicate through Joel-but it wouldn't surprise me if they refused to do that. They may see him as the reason you cut them out. I don't know. Maybe they are trying to punish you. Or maybe they think they aren't getting any respect so why should they respect yours? Hard to know-but since you're not talking it will be hard to find out. So-look the bright side-the kids are happy to see them, they are happy to see the kids and you don't have to see your parents for that to happen if you don't want to.

Sorry if I'm trying to sound like a psychotherapist--not meaning to. Hang in there and soon you will be hugging your babies and all will seem right with the world.


I'm with Lisa - I cut my mom off about 15 years ago, and it sucks, but it was not something I did frivolously. Anyone who's actually been through knows that it's about protecting yourself (and your loved ones) from a toxic relationship. Parents are just as capable of being toxic as anyone else (sometimes more so). It still hurts, though, because it's giving up that *idea* of the relationship you should have with them. It hurts less with time, but it always hurts. *hugs*


Wow, that sucks...I'm so sorry. My husband's mother behaved in a similar way to your parents, and we had to cut her out of our life. By her choice, she's never met her granddaughter, who is almost six. I guess that's best, considering the potential for manipulation and brainwashing. I hope you're able to push past the sadness and take care of yourself for this last week.


Back to the issue at hand...

I'm so sorry you're going through this and I know there's nothing I can say to help, but chin up. Your kids are lucky to have a parent who loves them so much.


I'm sorry. It's all very hard. (Hugs)


1. It is out of your must let it go. You know that you cannot control the way others behave, only how YOU react to it. Breathe, and let it much as you can.

2. Try to look at the postitive...your kids are alive and healthy - you WILL be able to hug and kiss and love on them when they come back to you. Not all parents are so lucky. And your kids are most likely having a great time and enjoying their summer vacation, and they deserve it!

3. This too shall always does...


You know, I've been a pretty supportive read for a while now but...this post really clicked in my mind..

Let's be honest - Amanda is the cause of all her own problems. She can blame Dave, she can blame her parents but at the end of the day she caused every hardship she has endured.

Who, in their right mind, gets so upset about an event in their life that they start to cry and then thinks..."ooo this is a great picture for my blog..." and then takes a picture? Call your boyfriend, call your best friend, call your family, but don't throw your grief and misery onto the web for the world to give you pity... that's... frankly.. despicable and shameful.

People, you are just feeding Amanda's massive insecurity complex and her need for constant affirmation & emotional support from total strangers. She needs to stop caring what strangers think about her life and spend 100% of her time with her real friends and family.

Maybe she has burned so many bridges in her real life that the only people who can give her the daily dose of sympathy she needs to function are.. internet strangers.

I read that crazy email between Dave & Amanda - It's still online - and it really shows who she is - minus the white washing of her blog.

This post... is not the real Amanda.


Kendra-not sure why you assume that all of the commenters are strangers. Some of us are friends with her IRL. I think you are wrong about this not being the real Amanda. In my opinion-this post is the essence of Amanda. She works through her emotions/issues by writing about them. She's in a period of her life where she is extremely introspective, and yes, possibly a little narcissistic. But I chalk that up to both her personality AND the fact that she's in therapy and supposed to be (over)thinking her emotions/reactions/etc.

I adore Amanda for her "realness" and I don't always agree with her decisions or her perspective. But she is not afraid to put out her raw emotions whether directly or to retell an episode. I applaud her that. The email between her and Dave was done in extreme anger and probably hatred and they wanted to hurt each other. I would guess (hope!) that neither of them are still in a mental place to do that now.

From the first time I started reading this blog (right before the separation) to now-my opinion of her choices have certainly changed. Life is better for her now. She is pursuing her own happiness which trickles down to her children's happiness. I didn't see that right at first-but then, she was very much diluting her problems in her marriage to her readers.

I can see how this might come across the way you are seeing it--but believe me, Amanda has a LOT of friends that she sees daily/weekly/monthly that truly support her and her new life. This blog is kinda like her journal . .


You know, maybe I'm just petty, or perhaps my life is boring but DAMN I sure wish I could figure out how to find these emails I keep hearing about! Not sure how to get to them but I get the impression I'm not going to get a personal link anytime soon... It's driving me nuts that I can't go read the things myself. Instead, I find myself searching every way I can think of to stumble upon them to no avail.


I know sometimes it may feel like you are "wallowing", however, just remember that you are feeling these emotions because you are now in a safe space to have them. They seem overwhelming because you haven't yet learned to feel them without being consumed by them. That will come. If you weren't in a safe place, and I mean more than your relationship with Joel, you would still be on autopilot.

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