I'm week two into three weeks without my kids. I miss them HARD y'all, especially since they've been such a challenge for me lately. I've been feeling like a massive motherhood failure and not seeing them (except briefly for a couple days in between) is both a blessing and a curse. How can I flex my mom muscles and work on being more there for them if they're not actually HERE?
(More to come on this topic soon because much like my anger, I need to write about it before I can figure it all out).
In the meantime they're at their father's house, which is pretty much the best place for them to be because I refuse to waste my hard-earned money on explosives. They have more fun at dad's for the 4th anyway. They get to blow shit up with their cousins. I get a break to get my shit together. It's a win-win.
It's also our summer vacation week with Liza, so we took a couple of days off and Joel took us to the coast. I'm posting this from the wifi at our super secret Oregon Coast hotel room, at which we only arrived after several tweenage EYE-ROLLING visits to the best wineries in the entire universe.
I used to think I hated red wine, but SWEET MERCIFUL BABY JESUS IN A MOSES BASKET, I love it so. Oregon Pinot Noir has entirely changed my world view. (Although that is not a pinot noir, it's a pinot noir rose.) (We bought it anyway.)
After all that wine tasting and (completely sober) driving, we made it to our hotel, where I made fresh razor (AND BACON) clam chowder with foccacia, fresh-grown caesar salad and Domaine Droughin Chablis. I could have died happy right then, but there was a pool and a hot tub and it's been a while since I tried to swim competitive laps in my halter-top swimsuit. (PS - IT DOESN'T STAY UP!)
What I'm saying is: Happy 4th of July! I'm bitter-sweet happy with my own independence and I can only hope the same for you and yours.