My garage: BEFORE and AFTER

I spent 90% of my weekend in the garage, which I would complain about, except it was SERIOUSLY overdue. Like, fer realz:

First, and I know this is going to offend some of you, but there have been times when my children have left the garage door open and THE CHICKENS HAVE ENTERED. Which means, yes, CHICKEN SHIT.

In my garage.

So I tackled it this weekend. And I'm doggone proud of myself! I would say that I deserve a graduation cap, except that I totally found my ACTUAL college graduation cap during this weekend's garage purge, so never mind.

Here's what it looked like when I (FINALLY) finished fortheloveofallthatisholy:

During that very same weekend, I not only survived a birthday party at Chuck E. KILLMENOW's,

but made both pancakes and waffles from scratch:

AND homemade BBQ chicken, bacon, mushroom and garlic cheese-sauce pizza and THESE FABULOUS HAND-PICKED lunch trays:

Which my BASTARD children refused to eat.

But they DID clean their rooms, so there's THAT.

I also managed to try not one, not two, but THREE vacuums (two of which came with the house...), before rescuing my shit-ass Dyson from the Goodwill pile and resurrecting it with nothing but a box-knife, my teeth, my Superman boyfriend's grip and a fresh roll of packing tape. I'm glad to have it back, oddly enough, considering how much I hate it's horrible, yellow, non-self-propelling ass. But it sucks better than a two-bit whore during Mardi-Gras and I had some pine needles in my garage that needed such a talent.

In other news, on Wednesday, I plan to do this to my hair:

Mainly because I can no longer get a proper A-line due to my "chemical" hair cut and how much of my bangs have broken off onto my pillow (either while or while not Joel is mussing them...).But I still wanna be BLONDE!

I figure the Sharon Stone will also give the world the perfect view of my new tattoo. (Soon to be blogged..)

Comments

[Heidi]

I think your hair will look FABULOUS like that! And congrats on massive garage cleanup, which is enormously satisfying and provides a lovely self-respect boost, am I right?

[Elissa]

Oh great.. now I feel like crap because my garage needs a cleaning probably twelve times worse than yours did (that's a scientific calculation by the way) and I can't even wrap my brain around attempting it between school, wifely things (which at the moment consists of desperately trying not to physically harm the bastard) and mothering five kids. One of whom is four months old.

[meme]

wait...so your garage is like another living room (with storage! bonus!), not, you know, a place to store the car(s)? I must be doing it wrong.

[cindy w]

I think the Sharon Stone haircut will look fab on you. I'm just fascinated at how much you've evolved from your curly red mermaid hair a few years ago to this. Evolution is great, don't get me wrong. Just... whoa. I wonder if people who knew you in CA would even recognize you.

Also: does your garage have a mural??

[Amanda P. Westmont]

Ha Cindy! The funny thing is I feel more ME, like myself, with blond crazy hair than I ever did with my mom ponytail. And yes. The garage has a mural. It belongs to the owner and it was one of the few things he didn't want us to change about the house.

Also - the garage is CARPETED, which is super fun for pine needle removal, but not exactly a room where I want to park my car. Especially since it's also the only way to get downstairs and/or to the basement.

[Sara]

It looks ah. maz. ing! That cut is gonna be super sassy on you and I LOVE it! Can't wait for Saturday!

[Faraway Reader]

I must ask, do you hate your Dyson?? Did it break? I am debating one and just wondering.
LOL at the pine needle removal!!
:)

[Amanda P. Westmont]

I have a love/hate relationship with my Dyson. It has broken many times and I've probably spent $200-$300 repairing it during the five years I've owned it. It bugs me that it isn't self-propelled. It doesn't have a self-retracting cord. It's a pain to change from carpet mode to wand mode. It's HEAVY.

All that said... I've never had a vacuum that sucks better. It does that part well.

[Faraway Reader]

Thanks Amanda, glad to read "real life" reviews.