How to become a redneck in7 easy steps

Step One: Since your yard waste bin is already overflowing, throw all the remaining plant matter into the fire pit.

Step Two: Quickly realize that no amount of lighter fluid is going to make the fire burn. Dammit.

Step Three: BRING OUT THE GASOLINE.

Step Four: Light that bitch on fire!

Step Five: Giggle like a maniac.

Step Six: Watch the fire burn out.

Step Seven: Leave the entire neighborhood smelling like gasoline and burnt brussells sprouts!

Comments

[Katie N.]

Joel: "Hey kids, watch this! Hold my beer for a second. Wait, hmmm, I need gasoline. Giddy up, m-fers, let her burn!"

:-)

[meme]

one word: composting

[David]

I completely have to second what meme beat me to posting verbatim: composting is your friend. That looks like a perfect start to a compost heap. (also, everything else in your yard waste bin.)

[Amanda P. Westmont]

Dude, you guys, we already HAVE a composting system. Their names are Red One, Gray One and The Other One. We feed them ALL our table scraps and then they fertilize the yard with them. That pile was just the tear-down of last year's garden. A once-a-year thing...

And Liza is a GREAT cook. She will try anything. I'm hoping my kids will learn from her.

[meme]

uh, different kind of composting--yard waste...so garden waste, grass clippings, leaves, etc. It'll give you nice soil addition next year, in addition to the chicken poop.

[jessica barlow]

this is no help

[Stefan Bacon]

Incorrect
Should be titled "how to become dead in 4 easy steps"
Lighting gasoline is only survivable if you are already a redneck, though dousing your yard in petrol brings you pretty close.