Dude, you guys. We got the house. Well, the keys aren't in my hot little hands yet, but still. It's ours.
I am seriously freaking out.
Because we are MOVING TO PORTLAND, which has been on my mind for well over a year, even before I met Joel, actually. I have wanted to move there and talked myself out of it so many times that I can't even remember why I was arguing with myself about it in the first place.
But it's very simple: it's where I want my family to live.
I should probably back up and say that I'll be commuting the kids to their current school, so there will be no educational disruption. It's exactly 14 miles each way and the drive (since we won't be fighting any traffic) takes 18 minutes. They're at an excellent school and they can continue to attend it as long as their father (and/or grandmother) lives in the district. I don't know why it took me so long to realize that that didn't mean *I* needed to live so close by. Maybe it was guilt? Maybe that's still there, but Dave gets to control where the kids go to school. When it's my week, I get to control where they live and with whom.
And I want to raise my family in the city. Not just because it's more convenient for me (it isn't) or because the man I'm sharing my life with feels like he's rotting on the vine in Camas (even though he does), but because I actually think it will be good for my children. Living in the suburbs is great - it's safe and clean and friendly and has good schools and even better neighbors - but it's not the real world. It's too pretty! The people are too nice! The real world is gritty and imperfect and it needs a fresh coat of paint and some change for the bus. I want my kids to learn how to see the beauty in all that grit and honestly, how are they gonna know who to give their spare change to if I don't teach them?
All that said, this house isn't that gritty at all. It's exactly old enough to have good character and bad plumbing. It needs paint. It's gonna need furniture. But it has everything else we need and by that I mean one thing: SPACE. Each kid will get their own bedroom. Joel and I will have an office. Liza will have a basement apartment all to herself. The kitchen is huge and there's room for all of us to spread out. We won't feel like we're living on top of each other anymore.
I could go on and on about the garden (enormous! and organic!), the location (2 minutes from the freeway!), the forrest across the street (a 22-acre nature preserve with miles of trails!), or how quiet and safe the neighborhood feels, but instead I'm just going to be honest: I'M TERRIFIED.
This is huge and scary and I have no idea if I'm ready for it.
SEND BOXES.
Awesome! So happy for you guys! What part of town?
Posted by: jules | November 16, 2011 at 07:15 PM
When I read this I felt like I was buzzing with excitement for all of you. The fresh start of a lovely move with space to spare. I wish you well!
Posted by: Cellomum | November 17, 2011 at 04:32 AM
I wouldn't be surprised at all if some of the behavior issues your kids have had while with you go away, or lessen, after this move--it is HARD to live piled on top of one another. And it looks like you have a yard, great for the dog! Congrats!
Posted by: Janet | November 17, 2011 at 04:49 AM
Great. Enjoy your new house!
I grew up in a huge city and I miss it terribly.
Posted by: lolismum | November 17, 2011 at 05:37 AM
Congrats ! SO happy for you and Joel and the kids!
Posted by: Faraway Reader | November 17, 2011 at 06:33 AM
Sounds like SE, if the trail you speak of is the Springwater Trail that runs through the 205/ Powell/ Johnson Creek area of "Felony Flats" be really careful. Loads of transients, cool coffee houses, farmers markets... though it is super central and minutes to anywhere.
Posted by: jamie | November 17, 2011 at 07:31 AM
Congrats! And welcome to Oregon :) I'm currently being held hostage by the Beaverton school district. Damn you good schools!!! I'd LOVE to move to the city, but for now anyway it's the 'burbs for us.
Posted by: Jamie | November 17, 2011 at 07:38 AM
Congratulations! This is awesome.
Posted by: Rachael | November 17, 2011 at 09:39 AM
I am forever astounded at you and your smart, smart, smart, parenting decisions and your bold, bold, bold personal decisions. I'm a firm believer that the former follows the latter. I was thinking the other day, because I'm a creep like that, about the first of your blog posts I've read--probably a year before the divorce--and how much your life is different and how much you've grown and learned and changed. That's such a beautiful example for the little ones. Brava!
Posted by: Jami | November 17, 2011 at 06:29 PM
If you need help moving, let me know. So glad you are coming our way!
Posted by: A.J. Swoboda | November 18, 2011 at 11:44 AM
Oh, Amanda, I hope you and your family find freedom and peace in this move. I know you're terrified, but you have good common sense and are a smart, loving mom, so you know it's the right decision even if your baggage is messing with your head. Leave that baggage in your apartment when you move!
I think you wanted to stay close at first because you could drop by and see the kids whenever you wanted to, right? That was a good decision at the time as a mom, but now that that isn't a reality, I'm glad you have the courage to step out and tell Dave, "You may be able to control some things, but you can't control everything." Good for you! Now you just need to find some cheap or free wood for the fireplace to heat the house with so you can save on your bills.
Cheers!
Posted by: Raisehell | November 18, 2011 at 03:51 PM