I'm not sure I can emphasize this strongly enough, but the two halves of my dichotomous life NEVER. EVER. MEET. My children never meet the men I date. The men I date never meet my children.
ZERO crossover. ZERO exceptions.
This isn't even a commitment I feel the need to make official in any way. I haven't promised Dave that I'll never bring men around kids.
I just don't want to.
Because I'm selfish.
It's not only out of protectiveness, either, because I don't date losers** and I would never leave anyone alone with my children, male, female, or otherwise, whom I didn't absolutely trust. I wouldn't bring around an unknown element. Even if I was to fall in love and put my dating life to an abrupt end, it would take me months, if not YEARS, to achieve a level of comfort where I could begin to bridge this gap.
The better explanation, though, is simply that I want my children to myself. I don't want to share them with anyone other than their father. They are MINE. They deserve my full attention when we're together and I do my best to give it to them. (Which is obviously a work in progress. Being single hasn't magically turned me into a perfectly attentive, present mother.)
Likewise, when I'm spending time with a man whose company I enjoy, I prefer to give him my full attention. And to get his in return. I loathe that feeling of wishing I could be in two places at once. I hate shushing my children so I can finish my sentence. So I just... DON'T. I don't go there. No crossover.
For me it really is that simple.
** Seriously, the divide between the kind of men who make it to a first date with me and the trolls featured in that last post is so wide you can see it from space. My standards are ridiculously high and I make it abundantly clear from the get-go that my children are never going to be part of the Amanda package.