Thirty minutes

Today I decided that all this writing and reading and general household neglect is not making me the best mother. Or even a passing one. I'm no where close to the mother I used to be, but that doesn't mean I can't at least TRY to be better. Even when I'm at my lowest, which I'm pretty sure is where I am, I have something to give my kids: I can still give them myself.

So today I gave Alex 30 minutes.

It doesn't sound like much and I'll be the first to admit that it isn't enough.

But thirty minutes without any interference - no TV, computer, Kindle, books, iphone or otherwise, no driving anywhere or dirty dishes or other household distractions - well, that's a lot more than I've BEEN giving my children. So it was a good place to start. I told him about it in the morning so he'd have plenty of time to choose what he wanted to do and by the time his sister went down for her nap in the afternoon, he had our thirty minutes all planned out.

We played legos, then cards (with a trick deck!) then more legos, then more cards. I ended up giving him more than an hour of my complete, undivided attention.

And he loved it.

And I need to make sure that if nothing else, I do at LEAST this every day. It's only 30 minutes. It might not make me a GOOD mother, but it's better than nothing.

I'm sick of feeling like nothing.

Comments

[taylor]

I am in a similar situation. I am feeling pretty down these days (although i can't figure out the reason) and I am not giving as much of myself as i need too.

thanks for this post, i needed to read it! :)

[whattodo]

Ugh I am right there with you and Taylor. The worst part is I know that I am doing it and all I can think is how each minute/ day that passes is one less day that I have to spend with these precious kids that I love more than anything in this world!

[JMH]

I am trying to do this too. I have been hooked on watching "Supernanny" lately and I am seeing a lot of MY parenting habits in those parents. But, I am trying to get better and even 30 minutes is worth. every.single.second

[Jennifer]

I am there, too, and often feel like I am the only one, so thank you. I need to remind myself every day that I will never get this time back and nothing is as important as spending time with them.