Gastric Bypass Surgery: Part FIVE of [many]

BACK STORY
When I had my surgery, Dave and I were living in Davis and he was working as a lawyer in Sacramento.  He hated his commute and we both LOATHED the weather and had decided to move back to the Bay Area to be closer to family, make better money and not sweat our brains out during the summer.  We also knew that we’d need to save money if we ever wanted to buy a house in California, so we ended up living with Dave’s mom.  I think we moved into her Mountain View condo about a month after my surgery, if not sooner.  Dave found a job and we moved as quickly as we could.  It took me longer to find a job, but I spent those first two months helping out Carol, who was recovering from knee surgery.  Our timing couldn’t have been better.

EXERCISE
The first thing I did after we moved was to join a gym.  Fortunately, there was one within walking distance of Carol’s condo and I immediately started working out five days a week.  It turned out I was stronger than I anticipated and was able to begin walking on the treadmill immediately.  I think I started off doing at least 45 minutes of cardio every day.  I did 20 minutes on the treadmill, and then 15-20 minutes each on the bike and the elliptical with a 5-8 minute finale on the Stairmaster, which kicked my fat, white heiney.  I usually walked home on shaky, achy legs.

Once I was working full time again about two months after my surgery, I found a personal trainer and worked out with her about three times a week.  I actually ended up finding two other girls at the gym who were willing to share the hour with the trainer with me, so it ended up costing me $20 per hour instead of $60.  That was a HUGE savings and since the other girls had similar fitness levels, we all got our money’s worth. 

EATING REAL FOOD AGAIN
After the soft foods stage was over, I had to learn to eat again.  I was a STAR PATIENT for the first six months after my surgery.  I tracked every bite I ate on fitday.com and basically subsisted on 900 calories a day of mostly lunch meat, edamame and shrimp.  I rarely ate carbs.  My obsession with food was actually worse than ever.

It also helped that I was literally NEVER hungry.

THE FIRST SIX MONTHS POST-OP
So in a nutshell, this is how you lose weight after Gastric Bypass Surgery:  it takes anywhere from six months to a year for your body to completely heal from the surgery.  During that time, you are NOT HUNGRY.  You don’t have hunger pangs, you can skip meals without noticing and you can feel full after eating less than a cup of food.   Shoot, drinking WATER makes you feel full.

But here’s the catch: every day after your surgery is another day closer to the day your appetite comes back.  So the first six months are CRITICAL.  The fact that you aren’t hungry is awesome, but that doesn’t mean your BRAIN gets it.  You still crave everything you ever loved to eat.  You might try it and it might work out just fine with your pouch, but you can’t eat enough to get into any trouble.  You basically HAVE TO lose weight.  There’s really no way around it.  You simply aren’t physically capable of eating enough to sustain your body weight.  Well, at least I wasn’t.

The most difficult thing about being obese, and I’m talking about being 80-100 pounds or more overweight here, is that the idea of losing that much weight is entirely OVERWHELMING.  You can bust your ass and eat nothing and exercise and work SO HARD and maybe lose a pound or two a week.  And the idea of what that translates to: of TORTURING yourself for months or YEARS on end to lose that extra weight is TOO MUCH.  It makes you crazy.  It’s the thing you want more than anything else in the world – to lose weight – and yet every bite you take is horrible.  If you’re off your diet, you’re miserable because you don’t want to be fat.  If you’re on your diet, you’re miserable because you really want to be eating.  THERE IS NO WAY TO WIN.  You spend your life suffering either way.

And that’s why I had gastric bypass surgery:  I was DONE with suffering.  I wanted the battle to be over.  I couldn’t face another diet and yet I couldn’t face the idea of being fat for the rest of my life.

THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER
So the first six months is also important because unlike every other weight loss plan I had ever tried, this time there was really no way for me to sabotage myself.  I wanted bad food, I ate the bad food and I STILL lost weight.  I’m not saying I ran around eating whatever I wanted, because I was really, truly good those first six months, but my body literally FORCED me into sticking to a diet plan that otherwise would’ve been totally unrealistic.  You can’t put a 300 pound woman on a 900 calorie per day diet and expect her to stay on it for more than a week.  It’s just not physically possible.

And yet that exactly what surgery does for you.  It gives you this break, this incredible, mind-blowing break, from all the baggage you have about being fat.  You can’t eat, so you basically get to move on with the rest of your life for a change.  That first six months is SO emotional.  I mean, there’s a REASON you’re fat and even though you might never know exactly what it is, having surgery and eliminating this one big glaring problem you’ve had your whole life?  It shines a spotlight on everything else that was going on that you BLAMED on your big fat ass.  It forces you to see your issues.  And they can be REALLY ugly.  Or not.  The good news, though, is that while all this emotional crap is happening: you are losing weight faster than you ever dreamed.  You might be miserable, but you are succeeding for the first time in your entire life.  This mostly makes up for the bad stuff.

In my case, I didn’t really get obese until we moved away and I wasn’t happy being isolated and alone.  I’m really a social person and I didn’t make any lasting friends for the entire time we lived in Davis, which was over five years.  I was just sad.  Not getting pregnant hadn’t helped.  After the surgery, we moved back home and I got to see my friends and family again and that REALLY helped me.  I felt like I was back to my old self again.  I felt like Dave and I had finally stopped treading water.  We had plans; we were finally saving for a house; things just looked up all around.  So that first six months for me was really about maximizing my surgery results.  I spent most of my mental energy losing weight.  I was totally and utterly obsessed with it.  I was probably the most annoying human-being alive.

THE NUMBERS
My starting weight was 296.
After the first month, I weighed 266, a 30 pound weight loss.
The second month, I only lost 13 pounds, putting me at 253.
The third month, I lost 25 pounds, for an ending weight of 228.
The fourth month, I lost 23 pounds, putting me at 205 pounds, 15 pounds UNDER my wedding day weight.
The fifth month, I lost another 12 pounds, putting me at 193 pounds, for a total loss of 103 pounds.
By that time, I was already two weeks pregnant and still had no idea.

[Next installment: OOPS!  YOU'RE PREGNANT!]

Comments

[Tal]

Amanda, I'm sure you've heard this before (and I know you'll hear it again) but I don't think I've ever seen the baggage of being fat expressed as perfectly as you have done here.

AMAZING series of posts. Can't wait for the next one!

[cindy w]

Thank you for pointing out the emotional roller coaster issues. Man, that was rough. It doesn't help that estrogen is stored in fat cells, so it was sort of like always being in Hyper-PMS Mode when your body is burning fat so fast. I remember crying in a department store dressing room because none of my bras fit me and I didn't know what size I was anymore. The distress I felt was a teensy bit irrational for the situation, but I can still recall exactly how upsetting it was at the time.

Did your hair fall out post-op? Mine did, but it also fell out post-pregnancy, and pretty much any time my body has undergone a severe amount of stress, so I don't know if that's normal or not.

That's awesome that you started working out so soon after your surgery. I didn't start working out until several months post-op, I was just too tired and yucky feeling before that.

[Erica]

THIS is the post I've been waiting for. I got teary-eyed reading it. I know that so many issues I've tried to bury under mounds of fat are going to come to the surface once I've had the surgery. I'm looking forward to getting it over with and moving past it, but I'm terrified at the same time.

Thank you so much for sharing the most important part of your journey with us.

[Stacey]

Here's what I struggle with...what does the surgery do that enables people to do it? If I could force myself to exercise 1 hour a day, five days a week, and force myself to even eat 1500-1800 calories a day, I would lose the weight. What is it about the surgery that makes you do it?

[Tana]

I am finding this all so interesting. You really didn't have an appetite for 6 months to a year later?
What helped you deal with all your "issues"...did you have someone to talk you through these things?? Support group..people from the hospital. I have heard that after some people have the surgery they never truly deal with the "issues" and then pick up another addition. Just curious what all of that looks like!

[jenB]

see, i am 6 weeks post op and hungry. legitimately hungry. as someone who used to restrict food for hours or even days at a time, i know what hungry feels like. this is what freaks me out the most.

for me, i have both a therapist AND a psychiatrist helping me out. MEDS and talking. I am so afraid it won't work for me.

[Ruth]

Wow... reading your story is just like reading the story of MY LIFE. My similar situation is almost uncanny compared to yours. I am also doing this surgery to finally feel healthy and finally be able to have the baby that I've always wanted (after 7 miscarriages). You are giving me so much hope!! I am very scared, VERY scared but I know I need to do this in order to being living my life. Thank You!!!

[Beverly]

I have been through the doctor supervised 6 month diet and exercise program and all the other requirements leading up to the surgery. I meet with the baratric surgeon on April 14. Hopefully, I will have my surgery within one month to 3 months after that. I can't wait! The past few weeks time is starting to slow down. Is there anyone out there that can recommend a good protein drink? The ones I have sampled so far gags me. BevyKent@hotmail.com

[srskkl]

I am 3 weeks post op and I like the carnation instant breakfast sugar free chocolate. You add 1 scoop of Whey to it. It tastes like a chocolate shake and has 38 g protein with the whey added.

[Xochitl Vargas]

HI from Los Angeles, CA. I am 9 weeks out and have lost 42 lbs, and feel it coming off every week. I am experiencing major PMS problems, and have been googling if this is just me, but found out it's the estrogen that is being released (WUUUPEE), but anyways, thanks for sharing. You said it like it is on our struggles. Also, for the person who asked about the protein, I am a coffee drinker and have found AchievOne cappuccino (20 grams of protein), and Worldwide Pure Protein Strawberry Cream (35 grams), both are yummy. Good luck to all on our journey.

[tcoop]

thanks to everyone who has blogged here. I am two weeks post-op and i have discovered that i can still drink a whole can of cream soup! is that normal? i have already lost 28LBS. and i don't want to jepordize anything. What is going on what should i do? i am not eating much throughout the day, a few teasoopns here and there of yogurt and drinking my protein shakes. I only get hungry at night when i'm having my soup. Can anyone help me or is this okay?

[Marie]

I started to read your blog and I felt like you were writing my life word for word. I have never read anything that made me ball the way this did. The way you describe being overweight and trying so hard to lose the weight and you don't! I just had my RNY September 3, 2008 and I'm going through the same thing as you describe. This is got to be the hardest thing I have ever done...but guess what I'm losing weight right along with losing my mind but that’s OK. I've lost 13lbs in 11 days! Now the part where you got pregnant freaked me out because I've been trying for 3 year to get pregnant. I have PCOS from being overweight and I'm thinking I can't get pregnant because I can barely eat as it is. How did you do it! Thank you so much for this post!

[LAURIE]

Hi - I'm 2 weeks post-op and feel wonderful. I've lost a total of 26lbs and really love life. The problem is, I still miss food. I can blend an entire can of low fat soup and eat it without any problems. I do a protein shake in the moring have 2oz of cottage cheese w/sugar free applesauce for lunch then have soup at dinner. I just finished the can about 5min ago.. How is this possible ?? I'm so worried that the weight loss will stop. Please tell me what you think !!!

Laurie from York PA

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[JennyT]

I'm so glad I came across this. I have been so optimistic and excited about my surgery (6 days ago) but today I am feeling discouraged as I don't think I'm really losing anything. I'm not hungry..I'm shoving fluids and protein shakes down like I'm supposed to...but I'm not seeing a huge difference like I thought I might. I'm recovering at a friend's house and her scale says I lost nothing from yesterday to today. Am I being ridiculous? Yes, seems to be the right answer. My friend lost 17 lbs her first week. I don't want to get to the doctor's office on Thursday to find that I've lost 2 lbs. and that that's "not typical".

[yolanda]

Hi, I had my surgery on January 12, 2010 and have lost a total of 19 pounds since then, but what really freaks me out is the foods make me so sick! I can't eat anything without it hurting and diarrhea coming on. I am very hungry and hate the soups and jellos. Help what can I eat? Also I am so tired that I can hardly walk or exercise. It is a struggle to be at work for just 4 hours and I don't have a rough job? I am crying for what I gave up to be so tired and now at 60 everyone says I look saggy.