Apology not accepted

After I took Alex to his classroom this morning, I poked my head inside the school office to apologize to the teacher's assistant from yesterday.  I said something along the lines of, "I snapped at you yesterday and I'm really sorry.  I feel really bad for being so rude.  I was such a monster."  I didn't give any excuses, mostly because I didn't have any, but also because an excuse is basically a dismissal and I wanted my apology to be sincere.  There was really no excuse for my behavior.

She nodded her head and said, "It's okay," but I could tell the damage was already done.  I offered my hand then and introduced myself and she told me her name was Linda, but it was a very cold exchange.  I can't tell which thing offended her more, the original slight or my apology.  I'm glad I apologized; it was the right thing to do, but I certainly don't feel any better from it and it was pretty obvious that she didn't either.

Comments

[Heather]

I would not worry, maybe you caught her as off guard with the apology as you did when you snapped at her. She will most likely feel as badly about acting coldly to you after you said sorry as you did about snapping in the first place. She will think about it later just as you thought about your behavior after returning home and I am sure in no time it will be forgiven. Perhaps she was having a bad day herself?

[Erin]

Well, now she's just being a bitch. You did your part-- people snap sometimes and you did the right thing and apologized. If she wants to make it a huge deal and hang onto it forever, that's on her. And if that's the case, I'm betting she's a big passive aggressive mess.

Ha, maybe tomorrow she'll apologize for not accepting your apology gracefully?

[Candy]

You put your big girl panties on to do the apology. Well done, you.

Since you have no control over others and how they behave or react to things, you may just have to let this thing go and hope time mends it.

[stephanie]

You did the right thing and now you can let go of it, isn't that a good feeling?

(heehee RE: big girl panties)

['Tree']

Nicely done!

And an excellent example you set for Alex and Genoa (although I know they haven't a clue - but it's in writing should they want to read it someday).

[andrea]

At least you tried. You should feel better as you did the right thing and set a great example for your kids.

[Dawn]

Nothing new to add ... can only echo all the other comments. You did good.

[heatherg]

You've done your part. If she cant get over it than just be cordial and nice in the future. You didnt need her as a best friend anyway.

Dont cry over spilt milk, clean your mess and move on.

[Lori]

I agree w/the previous posters. I am a teacher, and I can't tell you the number of times I've been snapped at, with no apology at all. If it makes you feel any better, I'll accept your apology! :-) That took guts, and you did the right thing. She'll get over it. It's not like you hit her with a stick!

[karen]

Obviously, she reads your blog and is jealous of your nationwide fame.

[Sonja]

She might just need a little time to get over it and to get to know you better.

[Karianna]

Yeah, I hate situations like that.

My husband grumps around and snaps at people, but then when I do it, it is like I am The Worst Person On Earth Ever. And I think my apologies then cement it in that I Was Wrong.

Still, I think you did the right thing - and perhaps some more smiles and some time will heal the relationship.

[Julie]

Oh, do I understand. And I'm sorry you got the cold shoulder in response to your kind apology.

But whaddaya talkin' 'bout, "New Yorker"? ;) Just breakin' yer balls.

[kalisah]

You cleaned up your side of the street - now you can let it go. If she wants to carry a grudge it will only hurt her.

[OMSH]

Oh wow, have I done this before. *sigh* I bet she'll come around. That sounds so trite, but surely she'll go home and think, "Wow, that was kind of her - she didn't have to do that" and meet you tomorrow with a smile.

[Molly]

You apologized and there's nothing more you can do. Maybe she will come around. If not, it's her problem. You did all you could.

[rebecca]

You did the right thing. Even if she didn't forgive you right away and let it go, at least you can have a clear conscience knowing that you did what you could to make it right.

[Tracy27]

So few people suck it up and apologize in cases like yours that I really respect that you made the effort. If it had been me, I'd have been glad you did. Maybe you did catch her off guard, but even so, how she responded sounds kind of petty.

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