Alex and I went on a mad eight-hour shopping spree yesterday during which I learned a few things about myself:
1 - I'm in a really slutty strapless-top phase.
2 - My ass is too wide for jeans.
3 - I swear a lot more than I realize.
One can easily be explained by the fact that after years of searching, I finally found a decent strapless bra. That, and I don't want to lose my bronzed clavicles. Recently I noticed that I STILL had tanlines from LAST SUMMER's SUNBURN and I realized it had been more than a decade since I had a tan. You have to actually BE in the sun to get any color, so that explains it.
Two - I tried on every single fricking cut/color/style of jeans that the GAP sells, which entailed traveling to two different stores in two different cities. Not a single pair could be worn amongst the general public. I blame my ass.
Three - At the McDonald's playland yesterday, Alex was driving this steering wheel that tosses around a bunch of bright colored balls when you turn it. Instead of his usual car and/or honk-honk bus noises, he kept shouting (SHOUTING!) "DAMNIT! GO PEOPLE!" at the top of his lungs. Under normal circumstances, I would've been embarassed, but I had just witnessed a father give his three year old a timeout, at which point the child shrieked "YOU DON'T LOVE ME!"
I could not stop laughing.
That's hilarious about Alex cursing while "driving"!
I have the same ass problem (mostly it's hips, though). Most mainstream clothing retailers don't make clothes for women whose builds deviate more than a centimeter or so from Vogue models' bodies. Gap is really horrible about this.
Something I've noticed the last few months which is really funny is that my little girl, even as a baby, has the same build I do! She has this huge gut and thighs, and wide hips. When I put an age-appropriate pair of pants or shorts on her, I have trouble pulling them up over the hips, but then once I get past that struggle, they settle OK on her waist. This is the same problem I have, and it's so funny to see it on an 18 month old! It gives me hope that maybe it's genetic, and even if I gave up the choco soy nuts, it wouldn't make much of a difference.
Posted by: Sheela | July 01, 2005 at 10:30 AM
Kids cursing - Funny :)))
I had the same experience, when our toddler girl was about 2 years and could hardly talk, my husband wanted to take her to the bathroom before going to bed, you know.
She got furious and she expressed her unwillingness by repeating (insert a Hungarian expression I can not translate but most closely it is like the English *WTF* or something like that)- It was soooo obvious that she learnt it from me....
Posted by: Franci | July 01, 2005 at 12:32 PM
Wide ass? If you walk backwards, do you make the sound a truck makes when it backs up?
Just checking.
Posted by: David | July 01, 2005 at 01:56 PM
You know what - I think you're pretty hot, so WORK those strapless tops, mama! Did you shop anywhere besides Gap? The Venezia jeans are cut for wider asses (come on babe, call a spade a spade - it's okay to like the fact that you're curvy, even if half your closet doesn't fit you anymore!) and you might be able to find some you like at Lane Bryant.
And, HAHAHAHAHA - Kayley did the same thing, just about, when she was 2 years old and trying out her new Barbie PowerWheels Jeep.
Posted by: Laura | July 01, 2005 at 02:04 PM
OK - does anyone else want to help me slap Dave for Amanda? :-)
Posted by: Sheela | July 01, 2005 at 04:40 PM