You are 15 months old today! I can't believe how fast the time has flown by. It seems like just yesterday we were snuggled up in that lumpy hospital bed - me in that stained nursing gown, tears streaming down my face - you with your eyes closed, happily sucking your tongue and refusing to latch, Dad snoring away on the floor next to us.
As sad as it makes to me to admit this, you're barely my baby anymore. Last night you were sick and exhausted and you fell asleep nursing in my arms and I realized how rarely you do that anymore. It was quite a treat for me. Even when you do slow down enough to nurse, you act more and more like a big boy - eyes watching me the whole time, arms wiggling, pulling off my earrings or tickling your face with my hair.
Speaking of hair, you finally have some! It's golden and curly and I've never smelled anything sweeter. And you have your daddy's sweaty head, which is adorable. On a 15 month old.
Last weekend we went to a Christmas party at Jill's house. On the way there, you got SO upset when we drove past the usual freeway exit that takes us to Grandma and Grandpa's house every morning. You kept pointing to the window and saying "grrma!" I had no idea you were so observant! And you were so cute at the party - trotting through the hallways in your striped sweater, clinking the piano keys, vrooming around Andy's old matchbox cars and getting on your hands and knees to drink out of the dog's bowl. There was another boy there your age who sat quietly on his mom's lap the whole time, which reminded me how amazing you are, how much I'm going to miss not being able to eat G'Anne's delicious crab dip because I'm too busy chasing you around making sure you don't throw her glass ornaments at the dog. You are so much fun!
And smart! You are learning new words every day. Today we worked on "Audrey" which was really too hard for you to say. But when we suggested "Sissy" instead, you caught on immediately! I think Aunt Sissy will be the name that sticks. You also adore "Leee-ta" and climb up into her lap as often as you can. Both of your uncles crack you up.
Some mornings your dad will hear you first and go into your room to start your day. You always insist on handing him your "ba ba" (blanky) first. He tells me all the time how cute you are. Then he will carry you over to me while I'm still half-asleep and you wrap your tiny arms around my neck, squeeze me tight and say "mama" while nodding your head with your mouth open - which is how you tell me you want to nurse.
The time we spend lying in bed together every morning is probably my favorite time of the whole day. You snuggle up in between me and your dad and say cute things we mostly can't understand. You (both) think it's HILARIOUS to poke me in the boob and say "booop". Which even I have to admit is pretty funny. It's also pretty funny that you laugh at the sound of your own farts and wave your hand in front of your nose while we all say "stinky".
Even though you barely notice I'm gone, I miss you terribly all day while I'm at work. I imagine you having all that fun at Grandma's and I wish I was there with you, reading you books, feeding you your lunch and comforting you when you stub your toe. And I hate it that I always feel SO BUSY. And that instead of saying "up, up, up" in your cute little voice, you've started shouting it insistently "UUUUUP! UUUUUP! UUUUUP!!!" which is really only because you've learned how to make sure you get my attention.
Things will be different soon. I promise. My undivided attention won't be so hard to come by. In fact, you'll probably be sick of me in no time!
